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"The one we'll make sure to have in whatever house we get." He came to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I want you to paint as much as you want while we're there. Do what you want. I'll be really busy at the college and hospital so you have to do what makes you happy."
I nodded. "I'd like my own studio. But you might have to watch out. I've been known to spend the entire day in my pajamas when I get into a painting. No cleaning, no cooking, no domesticity."
"No problem. We'll get a housekeeper and a cook. When I come home from the hospital, I want you ecstatic, ready for me after a long day working on your art."
"Sounds like heaven."
A few days before we were scheduled to leave, Drake picked me up out of the blue and carried me into his office at his apartment in Chelsea.
"We'll be going away in less than a week. I think it's time to do what we've already discussed and renegotiate the agreement. I want you to tell me if anything's changed."
Then, he let me slide down his body. "I'm going to print off a copy and I want us to sit down and go over it once more. Point by point. Anything you want changed, you should say it now. We'll discuss it. Negotiate."
He sat at his desk and opened his laptop, searching through his emails for the one I sent him with the agreement. He opened the email and printed the document off. Then, he stood up and took my hand, leading me into the living room, where he sat on the couch. He pulled me down onto his lap the way I'd sat that first night at my apartment, my arms around his neck.
"Now, Ms. Bennet, I want you to tell me exactly what you want and need from me. A lot has changed since we wrote this up. We'll be leaving Manhattan, living in Nairobi. I'll be working five days a week and will be on call one weekend a month. What do you see when you imagine us together there?"
I inhaled deeply. That was a difficult question. How did I see our relationship?
"I see us as a committed couple," I said, looking into his eyes. "We spend our time together. We do things together. We cook together. We explore together. We sleep together. Of course, we have lots of sex."
He grinned at that. "Of course."
"But I've never lived with a man before," I said. "Before you, the most I've been with a man is a weekend."
"Kurt?"
I nodded. "He spent a lot of time at my place. But we only dated for a few months, so… You've been married."
"I have. But I was bad at it. I don’t think I knew how to be a proper husband."
I didn't know what to say to that. I wasn't sure if I wanted a husband at that point although I knew my father was angling to marry Drake and me off. All I knew was that I wanted to be with Drake as much as possible.
"I don't know how to be a proper submissive."
"You're learning," he said. "You've got a strong will. I get the sense that as much as submission excites you, it also still scares you. You judge yourself too strongly for wanting it but being happy is more important than being politically correct."
He was right. There was still this tiny voice in the back of my head that scolded me for wanting a D/s relationship.
"What will you tell people that we meet when we're there? Your colleagues? Your boss?"
"I'll introduce you as my partner. I think that's the going word for people who are committed to each other but who aren't married."
"Partner," I said, repeating it to see how it felt on my lips. "Sounds like a business relationship. Or sporting."
"It's not perfect, but lover is too blatant. Soulmate sounds too much like Keats."
I laughed and shook my head. "Your colleagues would think you'd gone bonkers if you said I was your soulmate."
"That they would." Drake leaned in closer and kissed me, his kiss soft, his lips still curved in a smile. Then, he threaded his fingers in my hair and kissed me more deeply, the smile fading, his lips parting mine, tongue finding mine. The touch of his tongue on mine always made my heart race, my body warm. I wanted him right then and there.
He broke the kiss, his forehead pressed against mine.
"So," he said. "What in this agreement do you want to change? Anything?"
"Nothing," I said. "I want to be with you. I want you to teach me about submission. I want to go where you take me."
He kissed me again. "I want to take you where you need to go," he said. "But I think I want to clarify that we are a collared couple. You’re mine, and our bond is as important as an engagement. Some lifestylers see it like a marriage. It's as close as I've come to being in a committed relationship outside of marriage. That means we're completely and totally honest and open with each other. We're completely exclusive with each other. How does that sound?"
