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I tried hard not to react to that, thinking that Sefton could only be a bad lover, given his lack of awareness of how rude he came off. I wondered what kind of Dom he was, suspecting that he was a bit of a sadist, probably delighting in administering pain. Or humiliating his partner.
"Interesting," was all I could say without being rude myself.
I watched as a waitress took their orders. They sat side by side, close to each other, the way Drake and I sat when we were out together. He draped an arm around the back of her chair and she seemed really pleased to have him so close. A tiny bit of envy went through me and I wished I were out for lunch with Drake, sitting like that, instead of with Claire. I sighed and resumed eating my salad, a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. Drake had been so busy trying to get caught up to speed at the hospital, taking on his class load, and shadowing Michael, that we'd barely had time alone together.
I couldn’t wait for things to slow down for him so we could go out for a meal like this. I couldn't help but watch Sefton with his girlfriend who wasn't really a girlfriend. He was so attentive to her, stroking her cheek with a finger while he talked to her, his eyes on her face. She smiled and kept her eyes down and I wondered if she wasn’t a submissive…
Then, he turned to the restaurant, scanning the other diners and his gaze came to rest squarely on me. Our eyes met and I jerked my head away, but before I did, he caught me looking and started to smile as if pleased that I was watching him.
Damn…
I was envious of the way he was treating his girlfriend. I was envious that she had her man's attention, the way I wished I had Drake's. Sefton had said that if I were 'his' – his sub in other words – he'd never let me out of his sight and I wondered if he was a Master to his girlfriend or just a Dom. Were they 24/7? Claire had said they really weren't a true couple but did she know about BDSM? If not, she could be completely wrong about them.
If Sefton was that woman's Master, he really shouldn’t be hitting on me, but then again, some in the lifestyle were polyamorous and had multiple play partners. I tried to block him out of my mind for he was taking up far too much of my mental attention.
"Penny for your thoughts?" Claire said, her eyebrows raised.
I shook my head. "You'd need a fortune for mine today." I said nothing more, forcing a smile.
"Sounds serious."
I sighed. "Not really. I miss Drake. He's been so busy…"
Claire patted my hand. "You'll get used to it. Luckily, you have me." She smiled widely at that. "I've been married to a surgeon for several decades and know how to cope. Before we had children, I had my own practice and was equally busy. Medicine isn't just a job, Kate. It's a lifestyle. It's a calling. It's hard for people outside to understand and adapt."
I frowned at the mention of lifestyle. Did she mean to use that word or was it a coincidence?
"Does it get any easier?" I said, watching Sefton toying with his girlfriend's hand. I turned to face her. "Do you miss him less and less?"
Claire shook her head. "You still miss him, but if you keep yourself busy enough, you don’t notice it until he's with you and then you realize how much time you're apart from each other. Your relationship has to be really solid to withstand the separation. There are many temptations for both the doctor and for their spouse. You have to have a really strong bond to withstand them."
I took in a deep breath and focused on my meal, trying to put Sefton out of my mind.
Our dessert came and I spooned the delicious crème caramel into my mouth, savoring the creamy texture and sweetness.
We talked about the upcoming artist safari and then about Liam, Drake's son.
"How did you take that? Meeting his ex-wife and seeing his son? Must have been quite the surprise for everyone."
"Meeting his ex-wife and his son was a surprise, but what didn't surprise me was how Drake handled things. He was heroic," I said, remembering Drake's ordeal as he went through the prep for donation and then the donation itself. "He'll be a great father one day."
"How soon after you get married are you two planning on starting a family?"
I shrugged. "We haven't talked about it very much," I said. "Drake was always reluctant to have children because of the genetic link to childhood leukemia in his family. Plus, he never felt as if he knew what a good father was."
Claire frowned. "Liam was the best father he knew how to be, but he was such an adrenaline junkie, he had to be busy all the time. Drake will be a great father. He's solid. Dependable. But he is getting older, so he should probably have children soon." She looked me over. "You're at the perfect age to have children."
"I have a lot to do before I want to have children, if we do." I took a sip of my coffee, uncomfortable with this line of discussion. I wasn't sure if Drake and I would even have children for we hadn't really discussed it and I knew I didn’t want to even consider it so soon after Liam's illness. I had to finish my Masters, and I wanted to pursue my art. It was far too early to think about children. We weren't even married yet.
"Don't want to wait too long or else you'll be old when you need your energy levels to be at their highest. Some women make that mistake and then struggle with the demands of motherhood. If I were you, I'd have them right away. Drake i
sn't getting any younger."
I forced a smile. "Drake doesn't seem to be in any hurry to have children."
"I'm sorry," Claire said and smiled. "He's like my foster son. I have only his best interest at heart, so I hope you don't think I'm meddling."
"Of course not," I said, smiling once more, although I did feel like she was meddling. "I know you care about him. It's great that he has people who do, given how he was estranged from his mother at a young age and felt neglected by his father."
