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JON: I will be soon.
I get back on my flight and spend the next hour thinking of India and how our lives have become so entwined.
I don't know what changed, except seeing the two idiots that Marina had the audacity to match India with – two guys so totally wrong for her that I realized how right she was for me. And then meeting Heather and realizing that was not the kind of woman I wanted to become involved with, except for a quick fuck. An alternative to masturbation. Tits and ass and pussy and that was it.
India is so much more.
Chapter 11
INDIA
The hospital is quiet when I arrive. My mom is in surgical ICU and is on a ventilator. She looks so frail lying there on the bed, wires and tubes attached to her, the beep beep of the monitors making my heart race out of anxiety. I hate hospitals and I hate being in ICU, although I realize it's the best place for her given her injury.
My dad is a basket case, sitting by her bed, holding onto her hand. His face is pale, his eyes red from tears. He just sits there watching her, stroking her hand, talking to her.
He reminds her about their first date, and talks about how they took a holiday together to Alaska, driving up in an old van and watching the Northern Lights together while they camped. Seeing icebergs and being afraid of grizzly bears and polar bears, neither of which they saw.
He talks about their wedding, and how they went to Nicaragua and got married on the beach, good Neo-Marxists who were upset about the Reagan administration's attempts to overthrow the government. How they both got la turista and had the runs the entire time they spent in the posh hotel.
He seems like he's trying to coax her into coming back and not dying by telling her how great their lives are together.
They do have a great relationship – one I could only be so lucky to have for myself. They are two peas in a pod. They not only share the same values and goals, they love each other with passion and affection even after thirty years. They want to spend the rest of their days together, growing old together, enjoying their retirement together.
He tells her all this, his eyes filled with tears, and it only makes me cry all the harder to see him so afraid.
"Fight," he whispers to her before he takes a break so I can go in and sit with her for a while. "Don't leave me."
He kisses her tenderly on the cheek and strokes her brow, her head wrapped in bandages. Her eyes are shut, blackened from the fall. I am so afraid that she's going to die and I'll never be able to talk to her again.
Dad leaves the room, wiping his eyes, and gives me a big hug on the way out.
"I need to get something to eat," he says. That's when Jon arrives, his eyes expectant. I go out to him, and he pulls me into his arms and we hug. I'm so glad to see him, so glad he was able to get out on the next flight and is here with me now.
"Dad, you know Jon," I say to my father, who's busy mopping his eyes with a tissue.
"Of course, I know Jon. Good heavens." The two men shake hands and Jon takes my dad's hand in both of his, squeezing, and I think it's such a nice gesture on Jon's part. I've never seen him be affectionate to another man. I guess he sees my dad and wishes his own were still alive.
My dad leaves to get something from the cafeteria vending machines and I fill Jon in on how my mom is doing.
"I'm going to sit with her for a while," I say and point to the family room, with a kitchen and sofas for family members with loved ones in the ICU. "I'll probably stay all night with dad."
"I'll stay with you," Jon says.
I smile at him. "That's okay. You don't have to stay."
"I do," he says and shakes his head, pulling me closer. "I want to stay with you."
"Remember that we have a staff meeting tomorrow to go over the contracts. One of us has to do it. You should go home and get some sleep, because I won't be in."
Jon realizes I'm right and nods. "I'll stay for a while at least," he says. "When you take a break we can sit together and talk."
"There's really no reason," I say, because I know Jon is an early riser, getting up really early for a run before going to work. "We can text. I'm with my dad. It's best that you go now and be ready for the meeting tomorrow."
He looks so reluctant, but I really don't think it's appropriate for him to be here other than to bring me my stuff. It's not like my parents know that there's anything going on between us, and frankly, at this moment, my relationship with Jon is not my first priority. It’s nice he wants to be here to support me, but this is a close family matter.
"Go," I say and squeeze his hand. "I'll talk to you in the morning."
"Okay," he finally says, resigned. He slips his hand behind my head and bends down to give me a kiss. I kiss him back and he squeezes me once more and then leaves.
