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“I know fifty ways to hide your dead body,” Melanie scolds, tapping Teddy on the top of the head with a ruler. “Ruthie is looking for a soul mate, not a genital mate. Get that through your thick skull.”
Chapter Nine
On Day 2 of Teddy’s employment, he walks into the office and sets down the Kleenex box containing TJ on Melanie’s desk. She regards the box with suspicion. “Yuck. I don’t know why you want it, Teddy. Let Ruthie keep it.”
“That’s my son you’re insulting,” he returns.
“He’s looking okay, all things considered,” I remark as I watch the tiny creature munch on a dandelion. “I’ll find out when the Reptile Zoo people are coming for him.”
“I have an invitation for you. It’s got terms and conditions, of course, but don’t worry. The strings are only attached to me.” He reaches under his butt and unearths a warm envelope with my name on it. “Why is everyone waiting for me to quit, by the way? This job isn’t that hard.”
He’s got a smudge of something black on his cheekbone. There are cobwebs in his hair and his shoulders are powdered gray. He sneezes and says, “I’ve never had such an easy job.”
“Why are you so dirty?” Melanie asks him as I open the envelope.
“They made me go up a ladder to tidy the attic.”
I look up. “The town houses don’t have attics.”
“Well, duh, that would be too easy. I just pretended the crawl space was an attic full of antiques and dead bodies. They laughed their asses off. I had a power nap on a big cushion of insulation.” He grins at the memory. “I’m going to dream about ghosts tonight.”
I give the invitation my full attention. It is a square card with a border inked dense with vines and roses. I bet he did it in an absent-minded couple of minutes. He wears his talent like a dirty five-dollar T-shirt.
“This is pretty enough to be a wedding invitation,” I tell him. He shrugs like it’s nothing but his eyes flare bright with pleasure. “Maybe you could help us with the Christmas party decorations.”
I read the invitation out loud because Melanie is almost hurting herself craning to see. “Ruthie Midona is formally invited to an all-expenses paid fancy lunch and afternoon of goofing off with the Parlonis, Friday at 12 noon. RVSP yes verbally, immediately, to T. Prescott.” Melanie releases an anguished howl. Her name was nowhere in those words. I’m not that overjoyed myself. I put it aside. “Okay, so it’s not really an invitation. It’s a summons.”
“Not exactly,” Teddy tries, but he’s unsure of what the afternoon has in store. I’ve known the Parloni sisters for years.
“It’s fancy jury duty. I’m going to have to sit on a white couch in a boutique and watch Renata try on outfits with Aggie asleep on my shoulder. I’ve got work to do tomorrow.”
“I should tell you that declining isn’t really an option,” Teddy says apologetically. “Renata said I’ll have to carry you to the car if you say no.”
Mel says to him, “Seriously? I’m not invited too? I’ll carry you if it means I get out of this place.”
“I need you to babysit TJ,” Teddy tells her in his special persuasion voice. “I don’t trust anyone but you.” She colors up, pleased and honored. I probably have a face like a toad. He refocuses those charming eyes on me. “Might be fun though, right? Fancy lunch? Just think about it. I’m sorry, Mel, I’m just the messenger.”
While she abuses him, I sit and think. It takes me a really long time to get my foot off Providence soil some days. I know that’s not exactly normal. And to be in a car that I’m not driving—no control, no way of coming back immediately if I’m needed? I feel like I need to go sit somewhere and take a few deep breaths.
“Trust me, it’ll be okay,” Teddy says, gathering up his Kleenex box. He holds it so carefully. “I’m gonna be with you. I’ll hold your hand the whole time.”
And I find myself saying in a doubtful tone, “Okay.”
ON FRIDAY MORNING, Teddy arrives at the office, unsure of what to do. The Parlonis gifted him with a gold watch for his hours of faithful service. (Apparently Aggie called their “watch guy” who personally couriered it over. Oh, to be that wealthy.)
“I tried to make them return it. Is this even allowed?” He holds the box to me and I see what the issue is. A Parloni Checkmate: It is engraved on the back. Unreturnable. Unpawnable.
The engraving reads: Teddy Prescott, Remarkable Boy.
“I’ll say,” I say out loud by accident. As his mouth lifts in a delighted smile, I try to remain professional. “I know you didn’t manipulate them into buying this for you. I think you can keep it.” I’ve used a plunger on the Parlonis’ powder room toilet but you don’t see me getting engraved keepsakes. Instead, I get Renata’s cackled jokes about putting me in her will, if I just do this one more thing for her.
Teddy puts it on his wrist. “I haven’t had a watch since I was a kid.” He’s admiring it as he walks out to return to work.
The phone rings a while later and Melanie answers it. “It’s Jerry Prescott.”
I look at the flashing light on my phone and take a deep breath. I pick up and we do pleasantries for about thirty seconds about weather and busyness. Then he gets to it. “Just calling to check in on Teddy. How’s he settled in?”
“He’s doing fine. You just missed him, actually.”
