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Zeke was pacing, dragging a hand through his hair. His energy was all jerky movements and sudden direction changes. She didn’t want to fight with him, but he didn’t get to question her skill or commitment. She had that covered all by herself.
“I don’t think you recognize how dangerous Orrin is,” Zeke said.
“You just got through convincing Tres we were safe. You don’t think I can handle myself. You don’t think I’ve got the goods for this.”
He groaned and went to a crouch, eyeing her from the other side of the room. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what?” She could feel him watching her. It was an irritating electric current zinging over her skin. “I don’t know why we’re fighting. We wouldn’t have a call signal, and we’d be on our way out of here if I hadn’t acted, and you know it.”
“Orrin has bent this whole place to his will to isolate you. He has no interest in charming you into his bed. He wants you terrorized into it.”
“He is not the first to try that with me.”
“This is different. We always work in pairs for a reason. Cal always had eyes on you and you had them on him. I can’t help but worry about you when I can’t see you, hear you. Anything could happen to you here.”
Oh. He wasn’t doubting her. Her hackles smoothed. They didn’t have a problem here. Stick together. “You’re exhausted, Zeke.” She sighed. She’d had
the same worry about him all week. “It won’t look so bad in the morning.”
“Tomorrow there’s a bonding ceremony.”
She frowned. Unlike the games night, she’d heard no chatter about it. Her isolation was more complete than she’d known. “They won’t expect us to bond.”
He shook his head. “They expect me to. Everyone knows Orrin has spoken for you. We need to be prepared.”
“You should fake bond with Cadence. It will take the pressure off both of you and after the tree, it will be believable. Let people see you kiss, that should be enough.”
Zeke was back upright, his hands to his hair. “I don’t want to kiss Cadence and she doesn’t want to kiss me. She thinks I made a sport of embarrassing her.”
“I can fix that. I’ll talk to her.”
He shifted about restlessly. “You can’t fix things for me.”
“You’re hungry and—”
He moved abruptly, going to his knees in front of her. “I only want to kiss you.”
Oh God. She needed no convincing. He looked wretched, his shoulders slumped, his mouth drawn into a fierce line and his breathing quickened. “Yeah, I got that.”
“You know why I can’t.”
“I used to know.” The words caught, making her throat get tight. “It used to be so clear what you and I were to each other. I’m confused about us.”
He dragged his fingers through his hair. “It’s not real. It’s this place.”
She put her hand to her chest, her own breathing was ragged. “It's real enough.” It was vivid in her body, in the liquid want coursing through her, heating her skin, making her face get hot.
He looked away, closing his eyes. “We’re not together and we’re working.”
Yes. This was a bad idea. But it was the only thing in the world that mattered to her. Kissing Zeke. Taking his face in her hands and exchanging his breath for hers. She got to her knees and crawled to close the space between them. It simply couldn’t happen. It was a distraction. Dangerous and wrong for them. “We’re family.”
“You were in love with Cal.”
Zeke wouldn’t look at her, his head bowed, much as she knelt before him and ached for him to. “I still love Cal. I always will, but I’m not in love with him anymore. And he never was with me. You know that.”
“I can't kiss you, Aurora Rae.”
He said it like it was a rule he had to obey. They’d talk each other down. That was the right thing to do. “No, you can’t. We can’t want this. Not even for the comfort of it.”
