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“Who’d you leave behind in the city?” I ask as the question comes into my mind. I can’t help but feel bad for the people who now have to exist without her, because of me.
“Nobody really,” she answers, curling up beside me on the couch. I reach behind her to pick up the blanket and drape it over her. She tends to get cold a lot faster than I do. I find myself noticing her habits more and more each day.
“Thanks,” she says, snuggling into it.
I offer her a welcoming smile as she takes another sip of her wine.
“When I lived in the city, I didn’t get out much. I mainly just focused on work,” she explains. “You knew that, though. I only had a couple of friends I stayed in touch with. We can still text, so it’s not too bad. I was a homebody, so nothing’s really changed. Penelope’s my best friend, and has been for a few years, so that’s not changed very much either.” She looks down at her half-full glass. “My parents are there too.”
She doesn’t talk about her family very much, if at all. If anyone understands this, I do. I make sure not to pry, but I think she wants to talk about it, so I sit and wait for her to continue.
“They’ve been married for a long time and don’t get along. They used to fight all the time, but eventually, they just drifted apart.” She’s staring into the flames of the fire, but after a moment she looks up and meets my eyes. “They told me they won’t split up for my benefit, and that there’s no point to divorce at their age. But just being around them…I don’t know. It makes me wonder what the point is of getting married just to be that miserable.” She glances away.
“I guess,” I say before I can stop myself. “People get married because they love each other. Not everyone grows apart like they did. It seems to me that they’d rather be miserable together than be miserable alone.”
“Coming from someone who moved all the way up here to hide away,” she taunts. I’m still getting used to being teased by someone other than Penelope, but coming from Kacee, I don’t really mind. In fact, I kind of look forward to seeing what’ll come out of her mouth.
“Some people marry for love,” I remind her. “I did.”
She looks at me again. “Yeah, you did.”
Our gaze is frozen in time. I open my mouth then close it, and she turns away.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t’ve—”
“No, I—” I begin then stop. “It’s fine.”
“Okay,” she mumbles and looks back at the fire. “Jackson read a whole comic today. I think he might be ready to start on an easy reader book soon. One with fewer pictures.”
I recognize the change in conversation for what it is and am thankful.
“Yeah?” I ask. “You’ve been doing really great with them.”
“It’s because they’re amazing kids and willing to learn and take any challenge I throw their way. You’ve done a great job getting them to this point.”
“And no further,” I deadpan, but she waves me off.
“You did the right thing,” she tells me. “You got help, even if you were reluctant about it at first. I can see how much you really love your kids and only want the best for them, even if you hated me at first and didn’t want me anywhere near—”
“I didn’t hate you,” I interrupt, my jaw ticking with regret. I was such an asshole to her.
She looks at me.
“I didn’t,” I stumble. “I don’t. Still, don’t hate you, I mean.” Fuck, why does she make me so goddamn flustered?
She raises an eyebrow. “Really? Could’ve fooled me.” Her lips tip into a suspicious grin.
I don’t want her to think I’ve ever hated her, but I haven’t had to talk about my feelings in years, and the words don’t seem to want to come. “I never hated you.”
Her eyes widen with relief. “Good. That makes me happy to hear at least.” The corners of her mouth tilt up until she’s smiling wider. Her body slightly leans in, and I move to accommodate her. I find myself wanting to be closer, which is almost too close.
“Well, now I know you don’t hate me. I can finally sleep at night.” She smirks. She keeps looking at me, but for a split second, her attention darts down to my mouth. She sucks her lips into her mouth as if she’s reminding herself to hold back. The flickering fire accompanied by the wine puts me in a haze, and suddenly it doesn’t seem like a bad idea to let my guard down with her. I’ve been holding back while she’s been here slotting herself into my family, making herself at home, effortlessly into our lives.
“I—” I start, and she shakes her head, just slightly.
“It’s okay,” she interjects. Her eyes bore into mine, and the temptation is sizzling between us, hotter than ever.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders, holding her and feeling her soft skin against my rough palm. She stares at me, her eyes filled with desire and lust. My heart beats hard and fast in my chest, wondering if I’m misreading her signs or not. I’ve been out of practice for years, and this all feels so foreign to me. When she starts leaning toward me, her hand rests on my leg, and I follow her lead. Our mouths drawing toward each other, my willpower crumbling to shreds. She leans in even further when I hear shuffling behind me.
