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He took a gulp of the tap water that the waitress had placed on the table.
‘I just want to say that,’ he said, looking up, and Koyal stilled, ‘when a man makes another person suffer, it is usually because he is suffering deeply inside.’
What games are you playing with me now?
‘I have not slept properly since you left. And the more I think about everything, the clearer the whole picture gets.’
She continued staring at him, wondering where this was all going. Was he going to ask for money?
‘I was a monster.’
She blinked.
‘The things I did, to you, to us … I can’t live with that.’
She stared at him.
‘I … I…’ He held his head in his hands. ‘I am not a bad man … I think. I … but I am not taking away any blame for what I did … I was at fault and I’ve come to apologize to you.’
Koyal was staring at him open-mouthed.
‘You were so nice and gentle and I love you…’ he said, his voice desperate.
I love you?
I freaking love you?
‘Yes, I love you, I still do, and no, don’t look so horrified, I am never going to ask you to come back to me. In fact, if in an alternate world you came to me, saying you wanted to come back, I wouldn’t let you. However, I will continue to love you.’
Anger is red, a deep unequivocal shade of red. And it was this colour that the world now turned to for Koyal. For all the nights he had forced himself on her, for all the times he had hit her, for every time he had instilled mind-numbing fear in her heart.
She took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. And then she did not want to calm herself.
She got up, slowly, angrily, and he got up too, looking confused.
‘What … wha…?’ he mumbled as he stared at Koyal walking up to him.
He could only watch as she raised her hand and slapped him right across his cheeks.
‘That is for every time, every fucking time you killed a bit of my soul,’ she muttered, words coming out with difficulty because of the anger that consumed her. ‘You deserve to be cut into pieces. Don’t you dare show me your face ever again,’ she said to him, her eyes burning, ‘or I will make it the sole purpose of my life to destroy your miserable, cowardly existence. And trust me, I will be brilliant at it.’
Amit looked at the woman who had for four years cowered in fear in front of him. She couldn’t have been more different now, thought Amit, surprised at the fear that he could now sense skimming through him.
Red-eyed and red-faced, without another look at him, Koyal picked up her bag and stormed out, aware that every eye in the restaurant was on her.
She had barely exited the building of the mall when a waiter from Zizzi came running after her.
‘Excuse me, ma’am,’ he said in a posh British accent. ‘The gentleman left this for you.’ He handed Koyal an envelope and vanished.
A letter from Amit.
She was still taking deep breaths when she opened the letter and began to read.
She read quickly, skimming through the letter, her anger mounting at his words.
But then, when she reached a certain section, she paused, shook her head, confused, and read it again.
Her hand flew to her mouth in surprise.
