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‘No, no, no,’ I said vehemently.
A small smile began to dance around Purva’s lips as it often does when he tries to prise something out of me. He put aside the thick book he had engrossed himself in after dinner and took my hands.
‘What’s wrong, Kas?’ he asked as he fiddled with the ring on my finger.
How does he know, each time?
‘I am worried about Pitajee and Anu,’ I lied. Agreed, I was worried but at the moment it was not thoughts about them that tormented me. The worst kind of fear is when you are scared of yourself. And I was. I was very scared of what I could do. I felt like flotsam bobbing on the sea at the mercy of the waves, desperately looking for something solid to cling to and make my way ashore. My only hope was Purva.
‘Why do you look so scared, Kas? They will be fine … it will work out. It always does.’
‘And if it doesn’t?’
‘Then, as they say, it is not the end,’ said Purva.
By this time, I was standing very close to Purva and he had an arm around my waist, his chin touching my head. He had been performing surgeries all day and reeked of the typical hospital smell that I had grown to absolutely love.
‘And there you go!’ he said, grinning.
‘Eh?’
‘You are sniffing for the hospital smell,’ he said.
Time to roll my eyes and crinkle my nose.
‘Don’t like it?’ he said, tapping my head.
‘No.’ I said, promptly.
‘Liar!’
Giggling, I threw my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. We stood like that for a few moments in companionable silence. Purva buried his face in my hair and breathed deep. I could almost feel the stress, tension and anxiety leaving his body.
Poor guy, I thought to myself, he works hard to save lives most people have given up hope on. If he can’t spend enough time with me, that doesn’t mean that I start hyperventilating about a man I was in love with a lifetime ago. It’s no excuse, I said to myself, hugging Purva tighter.
Purva immediately withdrew a few inches away from me, surprising me yet again by how sensitive he was to each change in my mood, movement and thought.
‘You okay, Kas? ’ he asked again, looking intently at me and placing a light hand on my head.
‘I am not okay, Purva,’ I said in a fake hoity-toity voice. ‘I am cool, sexy and very, very glamorous.’ I finished it with a sophisticated arch of the eyebrows and a coy look at the nails.
Purva burst out laughing. ‘I get worried when you are not monkeying around, Kas,’ he said and lightly kissed my lips.
‘Wait!’ I said and he stopped, surprised.
‘What?’
‘You know…’
?
??…that it’s your birthday in two days?’ he said, groaning.
‘Yes,’ I said, laughing.
‘You monkey!’ he said, laughing and pulling me closer.
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