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‘Prabha,’ said Dad, ‘leave us alone.’
‘What? Why? Why should I leave my daughter alone? I was the one who gave birth to her, not you.’ Then she changed tack. Do you know how horrible it was for me to call up Mrs Dixit and request her to postpone the wedding for the time being? Do you have any idea how stupid Kasturi is?’
‘Prabha,’ Dad said, his voice dangerously calm, ‘Please leave us alone.’
Mum cast one look at me and stamped away, leaving Dad sitting at the dining table, alone with me.
‘Beta,’ said Dad, ‘have you spoken to Purva since you came here?’
I shook my head.
‘I see you are not wearing the ring.’
‘I gave it back to him,’ I said.
Dad seemed lost in his thoughts for a few seconds. ‘It stopped being magical and it stopped feeling right?’ he asked in a low voice. I had to hear those words to start crying again. I felt relief wash over me; finally someone understood.
I nodded my head.
‘Why did it stop feeling right?’ he asked me, his voice gentle. When I did not answer for a long time, he continued. ‘Kasturi, it’s okay for things to not make sense sometimes. I am on your side. We are in this together. Tell me what’s going on in your head and we can sort this out together.’
I began to cry bitterly, anger, frustration and helplessness taking over. Why did I have to feel this way? Why?
Dad patted my head.
‘It’s Rajeev, isn’t it?’ he asked in a whisper.
I looked up at him, stunned. How did he know? I debated whether it would be a good idea to deny this, but decided against lying.
‘Yes,’ I said in a low voice.
Dad looked on intently at me.
‘I still think of him all the time,’ I said in a low voice.
9.00 p.m.
‘You have lost it, Kas,’ Pitajee’s text read.
‘Get lost,’ I replied, immediately. ‘Anu?’ I texted again.
‘Get lost,’ he replied, within seconds.
11.00 p.m.
Subject line – ‘I miss you’.
Dear Kasturi,
I miss you so much more today, there seem to be strings, strong though invisible, that connect me to you. I can never get too far away from thoughts about you.
I miss you.
Rajeev.
11 May 2013, 10.00 p.m.
Dad and I sat in his bedroom watching another rerun of Big Boss when he looked up at me and, completely out of blue, asked me about Rajeev.
