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Abby attempted a smile and nodded, turning toward the exit.
He felt like an absolute shit.
“Abby.” Dammit, he knew things were wrong. They were wrong and sideways and totally fucked up. How had he gone from having such an amazing night with Abby to this in less than twelve hours?
He followed her outside and spotted their cab driver. It was the guy who’d dropped them off only a few days earlier.
Once their stuff was stowed, he slipped into the back seat.
“Abby,” he tried again. “Can we talk about this?”
“Not no
w, Tucker. Please can we just….” She sighed and looked out the window so all he saw was her profile. “Can we just…not?”
Tucker unclenched his hands and sat in silence, watching the lights stream by as the cab sped through the early evening. Fall had taken hold of New York City and it was brisk out. The wind picked up and leaves flew chaotically in the air. Soon they would be gone and winter would transform the colorful palette into something stark and cold and beautiful.
Sunday traffic was light and the ride didn’t seem to take forever as could be the case in the city. Abby was out of the cab almost before it pulled up in front of her building, and Tucker jumped out. He wasn’t leaving things like this.
He wasn’t leaving. Period.
“Tucker. What are you…?”
She watched as he grabbed his bag from the trunk and paid the driver. Shaking her head, Abby took a step back. He knew that he’d hurt her—not intentionally, but he’d hurt her nonetheless. And he knew that she was confused by the way he’d reacted at brunch. At the way he’d handled the entire situation. Hell, he didn’t know if he could explain, but he had to at least try. This here, with her, meant something.
Abby Mathews wanted to retreat, but dammit, he wasn’t going to let her.
“We’re not done,” he said, nodding to the driver.
The cabbie took off, the exhaust a plume of hot smoke in the cold air. Abby turned toward him, and his gut rolled over. Were those tears in her eyes?
“I think this was a mistake.”
Shit.
“All of it,” she continued. “The wedding. Us. Last night. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
He moved an inch or two so that he could touch her and was grateful when she didn’t turn from him. He slid his hand behind her neck and felt the warmth. The weight of her hair traveled across the back of his forearm, and he inhaled that subtle fresh scent that was all Abby.
“You’re wrong,” he replied quietly.
“How can you say that?” she said, trying to jerk away from him. “This morning you acted as if…as if last night never happened. As if I was nothing more than a plus one. And I don’t want to sound like a cliché or anything, but Tucker, I am the cliché. I’m the girl you took away for a weekend and screwed.” She made a weird noise and muttered. “I knew this would happen. What the hell is wrong with me?”
He let her go and swore. He was frustrated. More than a little pissed off. And confused as hell. Running his hand across the back of his neck, he decided that the only way he was going to make things right was to be as honest as he could. He had to at least try and figure out how to put into words the stuff that was inside him.
“I’m sorry, Abby. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I didn’t know Kate and Jason were there. I had no idea, and seeing them…Christ, seeing them threw me for a loop. They weren’t just my in-laws, Abigail. We were close, you know? They were family. And after Marley…after she disappeared…”
He closed his eyes, chest tight as images and emotions and even smells from back then caught him hard. It had been such a dark and chaotic time. The press had been in a frenzy. There were so many unanswered question. So much hope and despair and then….
“For those first few weeks, Jason and Kate kept me sane. They came to Florida and stayed with me while my parents handled the press, the police, the search and rescue…Marley’s parents kept me alive, and I probably did the same for them.”
He exhaled, ran his hands over the stubble on his chin and looked across the street. A rough-looking tabby slinked down the sidewalk, tail twitching erratically, head swiveling back and forth. Tucker followed its progress for a few moments. Sometimes he felt like that cat. Always looking. Always searching for something. At one time, it was all about Marley, but now…now he wasn’t exactly sure what he was looking for.
“I haven’t seen them since last Thanksgiving. I didn’t even realize it had been that long until Kate mentioned it. I just kind of fell away from them.” Hell, he’d fallen away from everybody. The only constant in his life over the past year was standing right in front of him. That had to mean something.
“Things are weird enough without me throwing you in their face. Jesus, Abby. They still think Marley is coming back.” His voice faltered a bit. “They think that she’s out there. Somewhere. Trying to get back to us.”
“Do you?” The words were soft, and he barely heard them. “Do you think she’s coming back?”
