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Lyric was silent for a few moments and then sighed. “On a scale of one to ten, she’s probably sitting at nine and a half.” She offered a half-assed smile. “A few days ago, she was at least a twelve, so we’re headed in the right direction.”
I winced. This was bad. Really bad.
“Did she tell you what happened?”
Lyric’s eyes slid from mine. “She said you…” She cleared her throat. “She said you and Drake…”
I raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“Had sex?” Lyric blushed. “Or were in the middle of it?” The girl looked uncomfortable. “I don’t know exactly what you did. I just know it’s bad.” Lyric turned to the oven and pulled out the fish. “Why Drake, though?”
“I didn’t have sex with him, Lyric. But I just… I put myself in a position where it could happen, and Drake being a douchebag doesn’t excuse what I did. I was pissed at Aiden, and I was drunk and probably high and…”
“And you weren’t thinking about anyone else other than yourself.”
She was right. She handed me my plate and then sat beside me. I stared at the food until my vision blurred and pushed down the knot in my throat.
“When did I become such a bitch?”
She didn’t answer at first, and then, with a smile, she shrugged. “You’re not a bitch. You don’t think is all. You react on emotion, and it usually gets you into trouble. Harmony knows that.”
“Do you think I’m selfish?”
Lyric took a few moments. “I think because of the world you live in, you get caught up in your shit. You have tunnel vision sometimes, and the things that don’t matter take priority in your life. While the things that matter don’t.”
“You’re right,” I managed to whisper as I rolled her words around in my head. “I’m empty.” I looked at her. “There’s no substance inside me.”
“I wouldn’t say that.”
“It’s true.” My heart took off. “It hit me hard New Year’s Eve. I’ve never felt so alone. I was surrounded by people I thought were my friends, people I thought I could count on. But in that moment, I realized I didn’t know any of them. Not really. Not in the way that matters.”
I looked down at my plate and pushed around the food. “It scared me. Doesn’t excuse what I did. And I don’t know how to make it up to Harmony. She probably won’t talk to me ever again.”
Lyric laughed at that. “Um, it will take a lot more than some douchebag boyfriend to come between you two. Trust me, she knows Drake was a dick. You weren’t the first girl he’s looked at. I just don’t think she understands why you would go after her guy.”
“It really had nothing to do with him being her man. He just happened to be the first guy I ran into after… I was hurt because I’d found Aiden with…” I frowned and stabbed at a piece of basa. “I found him with Samantha Needles.”
Lyric’s eyes widened at that, and she slowly nodded. She knew how I felt about the woman, and I think she felt pretty much the same way. None of us understood our father’s seeming obsession with the singer. “Okay. I sort of understand that, I guess.” She finished her wine. “Give Harmony some time. You guys will figure it out.”
“How did you know I was missing?” I was curious. She’d been in Boston since the day after Christmas.
“Dad called me. He was worried. Your security tipped him off that you never returned after New Year’s Eve, and he was freaked out. You’re in the spotlight twenty-four seven, and I think he was worried something bad happened to you.”
I found that hard to believe. “I can’t remember the last time I saw him.”
“Dad loves you, so don’t be an asshole.”
I wasn’t going to get into it with Lyric over our father. We had different relationships with the man. She was his golden girl and I was…well, I wasn’t.
We ate in silence and finished our plates. While I loaded them into the dishwasher, Lyric topped up our wine, and we headed for the living room. I flicked a switch on the wall, and the huge fireplace sprang to life. We settled on the plush white leather sofa in front of it, and I tossed my sister a large, soft blanket. I wrapped myself in another blanket and stared into the flames.
“Are we going to talk about Boyd?” Lyric asked cautiously. “I mean, I thought you hated him. But I didn’t get that vibe.”
A few seconds passed before I trusted myself to speak. “I made a complete fool of myself.”
“I somehow doubt that.”
“No, really. I wanted to have sex with him, but he pushed me away.” The sting of that rejection got me in the throat, and I had to clear it in order to continue. “I’ve never been turned down before. Like ever.” I looked at my sister. “I know he wanted me, but…”
