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I love you. Those were his words. The ones she had wanted to hear long before she’d realized it herself. And what had she done?
She’d cried like a baby. Cried.
“Oh, God, what am I going to do?”
She’d called him the night before and told him she’d be over later. She had made up some bullshit excuse about why she needed to stay longer, it had rambled and she knew he wasn’t fooled. Bobbi had lied to Shane. She’d told him to go to bed and she’d wake him up when she got in.
Lies.
How could she go back to his place when it meant that she would have to spill her guts? And she would have to spill because she knew that there was no way in hell she could sleep with Shane…let him touch her and make love to her the way he’d done this morning, until he knew the truth about everything.
And for one more selfish night, Bobbi had avoided dealing with her lies. She’d avoided it like the coward she had always been and instead of going to Shane, she’d texted him. She had told him she was too tired and that she would see him for dinner Sunday.
He was still hers, at least for now.
Bobbi glanced at the clock and with a groan threw the pillows and the covers off. She grabbed an old, faded robe, pulled it on over her pajamas and made her way downstairs.
The smell of coffee wafted in the air as she walked into the kitchen and she spied Betty at the table, a mug in her hands.
“There’s one for you already poured.”
Bobbi grabbed her coffee and sat down across from her sister, sipping from her mug as the silence in the room ate her up.
“So,” Bobbi said. “Where did you go last night?”
Betty arched an imperial eyebrow. “Really? We’re gonna play nicety-nice-nice? You don’t give a shit where I went last night, but I sure as hell want to know why you’re here and not with Shane.” She paused, and her voice was gentle when she continued. “Did you tell him?”
Bobbi shook her head. “No, but I have to…tonight.”
Betty took a sip of her coffee. “Are you sure? Maybe it’s something that should just be. I mean, it happened. It sucked but what’s the point now? What is that saying? Let sleeping dogs lie?”
Bobbi stared into her cup and nodded. “I have to, Betts. I can’t sleep next to him knowing it was me who ruined his life, you know?”
“Ruined his life?” Betty shoved her chair back so hard that the table moved and Bobbi’s coffee swished dangerously close to the edge of her cup. “How the hell did you ruin his life? From where I’m standing his life looks pretty fucking awesome. He’s not sitting in some cell with a three hundred pound convict staring at his ass. He’s still got his friends, his family and most importantly, he’s got you.”
“It’s not that simple, Betty. I lied to him about the baby. I let him believe…” she couldn’t finish her sentence and took a moment. “Because of those lies, those nasty, awful things I told him, he gave up on everything.” Her fingers were tight around the cup. “He gave up on all of his dreams. He could have gone to that fancy art college in New York.”
“That’s bullshit.”
Her head snapped up and anger heated her cheeks. “What?”
Betty glared at her. “That’s bullshit. If Shane Gallagher wanted to go to college he would have fucking gone to college. He wouldn’t have had to rely on his daddy’s money to get him there either. Shane’s a smart boy. He would have figured it out. If he wanted to do anything other than what he did, which was get his ass tossed into jail for three years, he would have. Do you think Shane Gallagher is the kind of man to do anything other than what he wants to do?”
“You’re not making any sense,” Bobbi shouted, suddenly so angry she began to shake. “Who the hell wants to lose everything? Who wants to get sent to jail because of it?”
“I’m not saying he wanted it. I’m saying he needed it. He needed to get his ass kicked. He needed to lose everything. I think Shane needed to see the darkest part of his soul before he could even begin to think about moving forward.”
For the longest time the two girls stared at each other. And then Bobbi cleared her throat. “Are we talking about Shane or are we talking about you?”
Betty was standing now. “You bet your ass we’re talking about, Shane. You two were bad for each other. Not because you couldn’t be good for each at some point, but because your feelings were way ahead of the curve. You guys were kids,” she paused. “Especially you. Your feelings were volatile and all over the place and Shane, well, he obviously had issues of his own. The loss of his mother…and eventually the loss of you.”
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Bobbi watched her sister pace the floor.
“I remember how he used to look at you. As if he needed you to breathe…as if he needed you to live and you were no different than Shane. When the two of you were together there was no one else in the world. Nothing existed except you and him. But that kind of bubble doesn’t survive the real world. And shit happened and it burst. But Jesus Christ Bobbi, don’t sit there and take all the blame for it.”
Betty’s face was pale and she sat down once more, her hands curved around her mug though she made no effort to drink it.
