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“Well, the answer seems pretty simple to me. Do the fucking movie.”
“I can’t.”
“Can’t?” Matt glared at her. “Or won’t?” He took a swig from the bottle of whiskey he’d brought over and this time when he offered it to her, Betty grabbed it and took a long gulp.
Fire burned down her throat, a familiar sensation as the whiskey rolled over her taste buds. It was Canadian Whiskey, Forty Creek, and damn smooth.
She hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol in about a month and as she let her head fall back onto the sofa, she wondered why she’d ever thought it was a good idea to quit drinking.
Of course, Matt Hawkins and drinking pretty much went hand in hand. The guy had his own demons to deal with and drank way too much. The two of them together were a scary combination. Bobbi called them the toxic twins.
Betty hadn’t seen Matt in about a month, so it wasn’t surprising that she’d had no trouble staying away from booze with him out of the picture. He’d been out of town—she had no idea where he’d gone—and had come home a few hours earlier.
Matt had been a friend since high school, as misunderstood and miserable as she was.
“Won’t,” she answered through gritted teeth. “You know what he did to me.”
“I know that the two of you got caught having sex by that dick-head director, Bentley. I know that Bentley fired your ass because you were giving away something that he wanted, namely the zone between your legs.”
She made a face. “Technica
lly I wasn’t fired. I just wouldn’t sleep with Bentley and after he caught me with Beau, it was impossible to work with him. I left, but he told everyone that he fired me.”
“Apples and oranges, baby.”
“Doesn’t change the fact that Beau Simon cost me that role. He knew Bentley was on his way over. He wanted Bentley to find us together to prove a point.”
“To prove what? That you were easy? That you liked sex?” Matt laughed. “I hate to break it to you Bets, but everyone knows you like sex. You’ve been going at it like the Queen Bunny for years.”
“I don’t,” she whispered, feeling that hole inside her expand a little more.
“Don’t what?”
A long moment passed. Was she really going to say this out loud?
“I don’t like having sex. Not really. I can’t even remember the last time I had an orgasm.”
Liar. The last time her mind and body had been in sync…the last time she’d felt alive, had been with Beau. But those instances had been few and far between.
“Sometimes,” she sighed and shook her head. “God, Matt, sometimes the guy is done and I don’t even know it. I’m so disconnected…so fucked up. Sex is just a way to…”
“A way to what?” Matt stared at her for so long, she looked away, uncomfortable.
“I keep thinking that I’ll connect with someone, you know? That someone out there can fill this hole inside me.” She closed her eyes. “They never just want to hold me. God, it would be so nice to just be held.”
“I cuddle you,” Matt said softly, his fingers brushing away the hair from her forehead.
She felt his lips on her cheek and it only made the sadness inside her tighter. Meaner. She wished Matt was enough.
“It’s not the same,” she said.
“I know.” He rolled back and kicked at the pillow now on the floor. “I think you should do the movie. Make it yours and throw Beau Simon a big fuck you.”
“It doesn’t work that way.”
“Why not?”
She grabbed the whiskey from him once more and took another long draw. “Because with Beau, everything is different. I can’t explain it.”
