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Logan looked awful. His hair was all over the place, his features drawn with worry, but it was his eyes that freaked Betty out. They were filled with fear. As much as the man was trying to keep it together, his fear made Betty’s heart turn over.
She crossed the room and Bobbi slid off the bed where she’d been sitting next to Billie. Bobbi enveloped Betty in a hug that took mere seconds to melt Betty’s shell.
The two girls clung to each other and when her sister finally let Betty go, Logan was gone and Billie was staring up at her with such pain in her eyes that Betty’s throat clogged with tears.
As angry as she’d been with her sister, never in a million years would she have wished this on anyone.
“I’m so sorry,” Billie blurted, a fresh batch of tears tumbling out of her eyes as she wiped at her face with one hand, while slowly rubbing her stomach with the other.
Betty shook her head, mouth trembling. Her throat was so tight she wasn’t sure she would be able to speak. There were still so many painful things inside her and maybe one day she’d get them out, but now wasn’t the time.
“I don’t want to talk about that night, Billie. Not ever again.”
“But I have to,” Billie replied, her voice catching on a sob. “I can’t stop thinking about it. What happened to you…I can’t stop it from going around and around in my head.” Billie grabbed Betty’s hands. “You have to forgive me, Betty. Please.”
Betty stared down at her hand clasped between her sisters’. An IV was inserted into the back of one of Billie’s hands and they trembled as she squeezed onto Betty.
“Please. I’m so sorry. I can’t sleep. I can’t think of anything other than that night. Oh God, I can’t believe that happened to you and you’re 100% right. It was my fault. It’s all my fault.”
Betty’s demons stared back at her. The ghosts from that night echoed inside her head and for one second she thought she smelled stale cigarettes and engine oil.
But then it was gone and she leaned down and kissed her sister’s forehead.
“Do you hate me?” Billie whispered.
“No,” Betty replied softly. “I don’t hate you. I never hated you, even when I thought I did.” She pulled back, smoothed away a piece of hair from Billie’s brow, and laid it all out there.
“There will always be a part of me that blames you for what happened that night. I can’t help it, Billie. I’m just being honest. But all the other stuff…the drug
s, the booze, the men…the train wreck that I became…that’s all on me.”
Betty wiped at her face and blew out a long, shuddering breath. “My therapist told me that for every action there is a reaction. He said that I would never be able to move on with my life until I learned to own my actions. Until I learned to accept the past. Until I learned to forgive. He said that’s what being a survivor means. I thought it was bullshit and considering I spent a small fortune with him, it was expensive bullshit.”
She felt Bobbi’s hand on her shoulder and leaned into her sister as she gazed down into Billie’s tearstained face.
“I know you never meant to hurt me. I’m pretty sure I knew it back then too, but everything was so raw, you know? I didn’t know how to handle it so I did what I always do. I internalized, pretended it never happened, and I ran away.”
She stared at her sister for so long her vision blurred and she moved away from the bed, until she found herself near the window. She knew her sister wanted more. She wanted those three words.
I forgive you.
Betty just didn’t know if she could say them out loud.
Chapter Twenty-six
BEAU KNEW THE moment Betty slipped into the loft.
It was just past four in the morning and though it was still dark outside, the breeze that came in through his open window was warm. Tucker was asleep on the sofa in the main room, but Beau was wide awake.
He was wide awake because he’d been waiting for her. Because he’d known she would come. Shit. He was more nervous than when he’d played his first Major League game. More nervous than when he’d stepped onto the stage to accept his first Oscar.
He was nervous as hell because Betty Jo Barker had managed to worm her way into his life and he hadn’t seen it coming. He had no idea how he was going to handle this and that scared him even more.
Never had he met a woman like her. Complicated. Sexy. Damaged. The woman was frustrating as hell and she pressed every single button he owned. He wasn’t sure what everything meant—all these thoughts and emotions—but he knew that it was different from anything he’d experienced before. They had a connection and it was a connection that he wanted to explore.
And that was going to be a problem considering less than twenty-four hours ago she’d told him that they couldn’t be involved. Not with the movie on the table.
His door creaked open.
