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“What is?” Jess watched her intently.
“My whole life, I knew what we were. Me and Nate. I knew what our boundaries were. What our expectations were, and now…” She sighed and blew a piece of hair out of her eyes. “Now, everything’s different.”
“But it’s good, right?”
She slowly nodded. “It’s like I nothing I imagined it would be. But…”
“I hate when a sentence ends in but.” Jess interrupted. “Why does there always have to be a but? Can’t you ignore it? Forget about? Pretend the but doesn’t exist?”
“I wish I could, but whatever this is, it means nothing.”
“Molly, I know we’ve only just gotten to know each other. But from what I see, from what I’ve heard, you’d never be with a man if it was just nothing. And I know that Nate’s got a bit of a reputation with the ladies.”
“You think?”
“But for what it’s worth? He’s nothing like what I expected, and he can’t take his eyes off you. Everybody’s noticed it.”
Molly thought about that as she contemplated some things. Like Sunday night and her bed without Nate in it. The way he smiled at her jokes, because he was literally the only person on the planet who got them, and the way he liked to rub her shoulders, kiss her neck, and argue about sports.
She was going to miss all those things. But her heart was going to miss him even more. And that was pretty much the crux of the matter.
“What I’m trying to say is that it doesn’t matter because whatever this is we’ve been doing has an expiration date on it, and that expiration date goes live Sunday morning.”
Molly wished Jess would say something comforting, like Molly was wrong or it would all work out, but she didn’t.
“You’re in love with him,” Jess whispered.
“Yes.” There was no point in denying it.
“Since Vegas?” At Molly’s sharp look, Jessica shrugged. “I mean, I heard some things about you two.”
Again, there was no point in denial. “I think I’ve been in love with Nathan since we were kids.”
“That’s a long time.”
“I suppose it is.” Molly thought about it. “We had this dog, a golden retriever named Shelby. She was beautiful and sweet, just a great dog with the best disposition. My parents got her as a puppy a few months after they were married, and my earliest memories, she’s in all of them. Shelby was four years old when Zach and I were born.” She smiled. “My mom used to tell everyone that Shelby was the third parent in the house, and it was because of her that she didn’t go crazy raising twins.
“When I was eleven, Shelby got sick and started losing weight, not eating much and was lethargic. We knew it was serious. I mean, I could tell by the look on my dad’s face. She had arthritis really bad in her hips, so on top of the cancer, it was hard for her to get around. That year, right around the time she was failing badly, Zach and the boys had to travel out of state for hockey. I was on the team too, but no way was I leaving Shelby. I knew I couldn’t. Dad gave Shelby meds to keep her comfortable until they got back, and she was scheduled to be euthanized on that Monday. My parents went with Zach, and my Nana stayed over, and Nathan…” Molly took a moment as the memories washed over her.
“He loved hockey more than anything.” She looked at Jess. “Like the kid slept in his hockey gear when we had early morning practices.”
“Sounds stinky.”
“You have no idea.” She paused for a moment when the manicurist motioned for her other hand. “But that year, he told his parents he was sick, which he wasn’t, and he missed the hockey tournament for me. He came over that Saturday, and we spent the entire day with Shelby, making her comfortable, just being with her because I didn’t want her to be alone when it happened. And I knew it was coming. When it did happen, I was so grateful that Nathan was with me, because it would have been awful if I’d been by myself. I think that’s when it happened. That’s when he won my heart without even trying.”
“Have you told him?”
“No.”
“Well, don’t you think you should?”
“Would you?” She turned to Jess. “Would you put yourself out there like that when there’s a pretty good chance you’ll be rejected? Especially when it doesn’t change anything? Like the fact his life is in an entirely different state? A life he loves and has no intention of giving up?”
“I don’t know,” Jess said softly, a sad smile on her face. “I’m sorry.”
“I am too.”
Molly gave herself a mental shake. What the hell was she doing? This was the day before Jess’s wedding, and here she was making Jess sad and miserable with her story of woebegone lost love, or rather a love that had been doomed before it began all those years ago. It was time for her to pull up her big-girl panties and face facts.
