AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Sid padded over to the window and pushed aside the blinds. There in a pool of moonlight, staring back up at her, was Beck.
“I meant what I said, Sid. About wanting to figure this out. I just…we have to go slow is all. I need to take things at my own pace, or this isn’t going to work. That’s me speaking as honestly as I can.”
Her heart filled and expanded. She began to shiver so bad, her teeth rattled inside her head.
“You know where the spare key is,” she whispered.
She tossed her cell and ran to the bathroom and had just enough time to gargle and run her fingers through her hair. When she came back to the bedroom, he stood there by the bed, watching her, his face half covered by darkness.
Something inside her melted at the sight of him. Some piece of herself that melted and liquefied and filled every inch of her. She didn’t need to figure anything out. She knew what she felt. If not before, then right now, standing here with him, there was no doubt.
The struggle would be to keep it inside until the time was right. Until he was ready.
She walked over to him and stood on her tiptoes, smiling hungrily when his hands slid down her body to lift her up and accept her kiss.
And his kiss… Holy hell, the man could kiss.
Her toes curled, her stomach clenched, and when he finally set her back down on her feet, she had to work to breathe properly. She shed her clothes and helped him out of his. There was an urgency to her, a need to connect to him that was fed not only by desire, but, she would think much later, fear.
She touched his chest and moved lower to his abdomen. She loved the way he felt, how he reacted to her. When his hands slid up to either side of her face, she went limp at the look in his eyes. There was no denying the desire he felt for her. His need was as great as her own.
He kissed her again as they fell back onto the bed, his mouth a hot searching thing that suckled and kissed and tugged at the places that drove her crazy. He loved her breast
s, then slid to her stomach, to her hips and butt. Then he was urging her knees apart, and his mouth was on her, licking and suckling until she began to tremble.
When she was almost there, he moved up and buried himself with one thrust. They began to move, their bodies attuned to each other on a level she’d never experienced before. Beck’s eyes glittered as he looked down at her, and for one moment in time, she thought she saw that thing she’d been waiting for. The thing that meant he felt the same.
He came and collapsed beside her, immediately folding Sid up into his arms. Overcome with emotion and the depth of this connection she felt, she closed her eyes. She thought of the future, of having this feeling for the rest of her life. Of watching Beck laugh, or frown when he was concentrating on something. She thought of how gentle he was with Jingle, and how he’d do anything for his brother or any one of his friends.
He wasn’t perfect, of course, he wasn’t, but he was the kind of man she wanted. The kind of man she needed.
“I love you.”
Horrified at what she’d just done, Sid’s eyes flew open. She’d said the words out loud. He tensed, and for a moment, all she could hear was her heart beating in her ears, and the sound of wilds thoughts echoing in her brain.
Oh my God, what have I done?
Maybe he didn’t hear me.
Is he going to say something?
But Beck didn’t say anything. He kept her close, and she felt his warmth at her back all night. Eventually, he fell asleep, but Sid was awake for a long time afterward, because she’d done the thing she’d told herself she wouldn’t do.
And he hadn’t said it back.
Chapter Nineteen
Sidney woke early, a pillow clutched to her chest, the bed empty. It was that in-between time of half-light, gray shadows, and dreams. Outside, the world was already awake, and the lonely sound of a loon echoed across the lake. The answering chatter of the swallows, blue jays, and cardinals that lived on the property filled the air. She knew if she looked outside the window, she’d see squirrels darting across the lawn, and maybe catch sight of the big owl that lived in the ancient oak out front. With the snow melted, the temperature on the rise, and spring officially arrived, the entire area buzzed with growth and excitement.
Everyone and everything felt lighter today…except Sid. She focused on the empty pillow, on the imprint Beck left behind. She closed her eyes and inhaled his scent, and the memory of their lovemaking filled her with bittersweet longing. Her throat tightened as hot tears stung the corners of her eyes. Shit. She’d gone and done the thing she told herself not to do.
She’d said the three words, the ones she thought she’d never utter again, and he hadn’t said anything in return. He’d stared at her for so long, fear crept into her heart. But then he’d kissed her so sweetly, so softly, hope had bloomed. They’d made love with an intensity that had left her quaking. She’d thought things were good and settled, until they weren’t.
She’d said those three words, and he’d left in the night when he thought she was asleep.
Humiliation made her turn over and bury her face in the pillow; hurt encouraged the tears to come. She’d convinced herself Beck felt the same. Heck, even Molly had said she thought he was falling in love with Sid.
Maybe he was scared. Maybe he was confused. But how was she to know? In these past weeks, he never spoke about his feelings. It was something she understood. The past and all its messiness should stay where it belonged. She even respected it. In some ways, maybe she encouraged the silence, because it was easier for her not to know. Not to think and wonder.
