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“Why not?”
God, her sister was relentless
“I don’t owe you an explanation.”
“Oh, but you do.” Kylie got to her feet and sank her hands into the front pockets of her jeans. “Because I love you. And I don’t know if it’s a twin thing or a sister thing, but what I do know is that when your life sucks, my life sucks. When you’re in pain and so low you can’t see the way up, I’m the one reaching down to grab you. I’m the one who worries. Who can’t think straight until I know you’re okay. I’m the one who’s there in the middle of
the night when you want to talk, and I let you talk until you can’t anymore. And then, when you fall asleep because you’re spent, I lie awake and worry that I won’t be there for the next one.” Her chin trembled. “And the thing is, I know you’d be there for me too. You have been. When I flunked out of Columbia and Mason dumped me, I thought my life was over. I was so low, I thought I’d never make it back. You made me see I was being an idiot, and you were there until I made things right. So now I need to know you’re going to be okay, because you haven’t been okay for a very, very long time, and Sid, it’s fucking exhausting.”
The tears that had been threatening since before Sid rolled out of bed ran down her face. She sniffled and swiped at them, watching her sister in silence for as long as she could bear it.
“I screwed up, Ky.”
“What do you mean?”
Sid shrugged and said simply, “I love him.”
“Oh sweetie, that’s great. After everything you’ve been through to find that again, to love again, is wonderful.” Kylie took a step closer. “Isn’t it?”
Sid grabbed up her mug again, if only to have something to hold on to. “I guess it means I’m not dead inside. So there’s that. But…”
“But?” her sister prodded.
“He doesn’t feel the same. I thought he cared about me the way I do for him, and we…last night, I told him I loved him, and he…” Her voice caught, and she exhaled slowly, trying like hell to keep it together. “He didn’t say it back.” She whispered the words, hating every syllable.
For a few moments, the only sounds were the birds in the trees and a motorboat off in the distance. Kylie knelt in front of Sid and smiled. “That doesn’t mean anything. He could feel the same. You probably took him by surprise is all. Did he leave when you told him?”
Sidney shook her head. “No. We made love. But it was different. It felt different.” She thought of his hands and how his eyes held hers as he sank inside her. “It felt like goodbye.”
“Did you talk about it?” Kylie asked gently.
“He left in the middle of the night. He thought I was asleep.”
“Then you need to go to him. You need to know where he stands.”
“No.”
“You’re being a fraidy-cat.” Kylie reached out her hand. “This is why I’m here. I knew you needed me. I knew it last night. I was in the middle of the last episode of Game of Thrones, even though I hate the way it ended, but still, Jon Snow, right? Anyway, I got this intense feeling in my gut, and I turned off the TV and booked my flight.”
“I appreciate that, but I don’t need you.”
“Yeah, you do.”
“For what, exactly?” Sid glared up at her sister, more than a little pissed off.
“To kick your butt is why. Now take my hand and get out of that chair. You need to go see him before you leave. You’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t. Life’s a crapshoot, Sid. None of us can see around the corner, and we don’t know what the future holds. You know that more than anyone. So when something good comes around, you need to hold it close and keep it safe. It’s like Frodo with the ring.”
“Who?”
“Oh my God. Lord of the Rings? Never mind. Your taste in movies sucks. Don’t let this chance at happiness slip through your fingers. There might not be another one.”
Sid stared at Kylie’s outstretched fingers until her vision blurred. Until her face ached with the effort it took to stop crying. Then she reached forward and let her sister pull her up. Could she do this? Confront Beck and demand to know where he stood? Ask him why he said nothing when she opened her heart to him?
Could she go on with her life if she didn’t?
No.
“Okay,” she said, heading back inside. She grabbed her keys and paused at the front door. “Thanks, Ky. For coming and for making me see what I need to do,” she said, looking over her shoulder.
