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“This time. God, I had no idea. It was so fas
t, the cars, the laps.” She nodded behind him. “Those people out there, they come to watch you race. Come to watch you defy the odds and take those turns at incredible speeds, and the whole time…” She lost her voice for a moment. “The whole time, they’re waiting for something to happen. Waiting for something more than just a car speeding around a track.”
He was silent, watching her and hating that he didn’t know what to say.
“The woman beside me.” She shuddered. “When you took that turn and hesitated, and it looked like you might crash…she poked her husband and ordered him to get his phone out and video. You know, just in case you crashed because they had such a good view of the turn.” She shook her head. “I wanted to punch her in the throat, and I think I would have, except her husband moved in front of me to video the turn.”
“Regan.”
“No. Please. Let me say this before I lose my nerve.”
He nodded. “Okay.”
“I love you.” She smiled then, a half smile that tore at his heart. Her mouth quivered, and she exhaled a long, shaky breath.
“I don’t know how or why. You showed up in my ER last fall, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”
“Even when you hated me.” His attempt at humor fell flat.
“I never hated you, Wyatt. I envied your lust for life. Your need to do everything at two hundred miles an hour. There was never anything halfway with you, and I wanted that. I still want that. But…”
“I hate that word.”
She attempted a smile and gave up. “But I can’t live this life. I don’t see how anything could work between us.” She sniffled. “Last week, I watched the crash that killed your friend. I saw interviews with his wife and his young child. It was awful. I deal with death all the time. Little boys who will never experience love. Boys who will never go on a date and know what it’s like to kiss a girl in the rain because they have cancer and won’t live to see their tenth birthday. I hate it, but I understand it.”
Her voice broke, and Wyatt reached for her. He held her close, even though he knew she was already drifting away from him.
“I can handle that kind of death, Wyatt. What I can’t handle is one that’s wasted. This life you live isn’t for me, and I’m sad that I can’t share it with you.”
He froze and took a step back. “What are you saying?”
“I’ve never wanted to be that girl, Wyatt. The kind would give a man an ultimatum, but I find myself doing just that. I’m sorry. I can’t be a part of this life. Not the way you’re living it. I just can’t.”
Anger flared inside him. It was hot and full, and it took everything in him not to put his fist through the wall.
“That’s it? You come and watch one race and we’re done?”
She reached for him and pressed her mouth against his. But there was nothing in him to give back.
“I love you,” she whispered against his lips. “And if you ever decide that you don’t need this, this racing and death-defying stuff, you know where to find me.”
With that, Regan moved away and left him alone in the trailer. Outside, the crowds were still electric. The campers and tailgaters were partying it up but good. He knew he could go out there and be with hundreds, hell, thousands of admirers. People who were more than happy to talk about the race and his win and the Daytona 500 next week.
Wyatt wasn’t sure how long he stood alone in his trailer, but eventually, his legs cramped, and he took off his racing gear. He hopped in the shower and let the hot spray wash over him.
He stood under it until the water went cold.
Chapter 30
Regan spent the week trying not to think about Wyatt or the race or anything to do with NASCAR. She hated her empty bed, and by Friday, she was getting sick of Bella’s mournful stare.
“I miss him too,” she said, grabbing herself a glass of wine.
The doorbell rang, and she padded over to answer it, surprised to see Carly standing there, and more than a little pissed at her friend as well.
“Wine is on the counter.”
Carly helped herself and sat on the floor, placing her wineglass on the coffee table as she looked up at Regan.
