AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Catherine nodded, staring into the flickering fire for a pensive moment, then turning back to Rico as he carried on talking. ‘Jessica gave me some home movies—videos they had taken…’ He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down, and she could feel his hesitation. His usual reserve was battling to take over, but he fought it, dragging his eyes back to her as if she was what he needed to continue. ‘I prepared myself for the worst when I put them on—a drunken party, perhaps, Lily crying in a corner…I’ve no idea what I expected to see, but never in a million years could I have envisaged the love I witnessed.’
‘Love?’
She was sure she must have misheard him, somehow misinterpreted the simple yet intricate word, but Rico nodded slowly, that beautiful full mouth wavering slightly as emotion betrayed his usually steady voice. ‘They loved each other, Catherine. To anyone else it would have been the most boring home movie ever, but there they were, cooing not just over Lily, but each other. And, as blind as I might appear in matters of the heart, their love was obvious.’
‘So why did she say those terrible things?’ Catherine asked.
‘Maybe it was safer for her to believe them?’ Rico suggested gently, taking in the tiny frown that puckered her brow, those delicious brown eyes blinking at the brilliance of new perception. ‘Maybe in that messed-up head of Janey’s it was easier to convince herself she was in control of her own emotions? Maybe she loved Marco so much that she did trap him, did everything in her power to ensure he married her? I don’t know all the answers, Catherine, but one look at the video and you will be convinced also.’
‘We can play it for Lily.’ Her words were a whisper as bittersweet relief flooded her veins, because something had finally been salvaged from the wreckage, because Lily would have some precious memories to cling to of parents who had, it seemed, loved her after all.
‘You can play it for Lily,’ Rico corrected softly. ‘Catherine, I love Lily, but despite your doubts, despite how hard it has been for you, I know in my heart you are the best person for her. You will be a wonderful mother.’ His hand dusted down over her stomach, held the hollow where there should have been their child, and it was Rico’s tears she witnessed now, with pain, pride, agony etched in each proud tear that scraped the razor of his cheekbones. ‘You would have been a wonderful mother to this one too.’
‘I’m sorry, Rico. Maybe I did do too much. Maybe going back to work after all I’d been through was just—’
‘Hush.’ He placed a finger to her lips. ‘Don’t do that to yourself. I never blamed you, Catherine, not even for a moment,’ he whispered. ‘I blame myself.’
‘But why?’ Catherine begged, her mind in turmoil. Seeing Rico, usually so strong, so utterly self-righteous, plagued by doubt, seeing this proud, dignified man in such pain, tore at her very being. The pain they had unwittingly inflicted on each other was almost more than she could bear. ‘How could it be your fault?’
‘Because when I found out you were carrying my child I was pleased for all the wrong reasons. I wanted you to be pregnant, Catherine—wanted you to be having my child. Not because I wanted another baby, but because I wanted you! But seeing your pain, hearing Antonia talk, it hit me just what we had lost. Our baby, Catherine. Our child. It was only then I realised how much I’d wanted it too.’
And though she ached to comfort him, to say the right thing, her mind stalled on the middle of his heartfelt speech, the rest of the words a blur as those three little words hit home.
‘You wanted me?’ Her voice was incredulous and she quickly fought to check it—scared, so scared, of raising her hopes only to have them dashed again; sure, so sure, she must somehow have misheard him, misunderstood. But those dark eyes were staring back at her unwavering, with love blazing brighter than the fire that warmed them.
‘I’ve always wanted you,’ Rico said slowly. ‘I’ve always needed you. You changed my world, Catherine, made me open my eyes and see things from your wonderful perspective. You see the good in people,’ he explained gently. ‘You hang on in there despite the punches and somehow you find the best in everyone—even me. Tonight, when you told me you loved me, I wanted so badly to tell you I loved you too—to take you in my arms and weep with you for our baby…’
‘You got here in the end.’ Catherine smiled bravely, but when he shook his head and the shutters came down again she felt her heart split in two.
‘It is too late for us, Catherine.’
‘No!’ Her shout was instantaneous, a furious yet heartfelt reaction; to be so near, to have got so close only for him to pull back, was more than she could take.
‘Don’t you dare hold back on me now, Rico. Don’t you dare give with one hand and then take with the other. How can you say you love me, you need me, and then just shut me out?’
‘Because as you said before, Catherine, you should be loved as you deserve to be loved, and I cannot promise you that. My mother died young, my brother also. Dr Sellers wants me to have tests; he says it may be hereditary, that there is a chance it could happen to me also. I cannot put Lily through another loss, and I will not put you through it either. How can I stay when I don’t know if I can promise you a future? How can I be the husband you deserve when I don’t know how many tomorrows there will be?’
‘And how can you not?’
There was a simplicity to her question, clarity that cleared the littered way for him.
‘Rico, there are no guarantees in life; we’ve both learnt that the hard way. But if you love me as much as I love you then there can be no question of you walking away, no question of you dealing with this alone. I’d rather face the rest of my life without you, knowing I had one tiny slice when you were truly mine, than face a world without you ever having loved me at all.’
‘I’ve always loved you, Catherine…’ She heard his pause, knew there was more to come, but she shook her head and this time it was her finger hushing him with the softest of touches.
There was nothing left to qualify.
No words were needed now.
Love would see them through.
EPILOGUE
‘I REALLY don’t think you have anything to worry about. I know the books say that at this age toddlers can be very jealous of a new baby, but you must remember that Lily’s very advanced.’
Antonia’s voice carried across the veranda table and Catherine smothered a smile as Rico caught her eye.
‘She is,’ Antonia insisted. ‘Anyway, we’ll make sure she doesn’t have a moment alone to feel jealous. Your father and I can hardly wait to have her stay with us.’ She shot a rather impatient look across the table and this time Catherine didn’t try to smother her smile; in fact, she threw her head back and laughed.
