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Ricardo was the lawyer, and Julie wondered how he had felt about escorting three wedding gowns from Milan to Sicily.
Josh had gone back to sleep, so Rocco put him down in the middle of the bed, and then reached into his pocket, producing a small turquoise jeweller’s box.
Mutely, Julie watched as he came towards her. There was a horrible hard lump of misery in her throat, and an aching sense of loss and despair in her heart.
No doubt the ring she was about to receive would be as tasteful and expensive as the wedding gowns lying on the bed. And just as devoid of any of the real feelings they should have signified as their marriage itself would be.
Rocco had flipped open the lid of the box, and just as she had guessed the glittering dazzle from the rings inside it made her blink.
The solitaire diamond surrounded by a circle of smaller diamonds and set on a diamond and white gold band perfectly matched the diamond and white gold wedding ring that went with it. They were rings that caught at the heart with their beauty and exclusively expensive allure, but diamonds were a poor substitute for love, Julie thought painfully.
Somehow she wasn’t surprised that the rings should be so very much to her taste—nor that the engagement ring which Rocco insisted on sliding onto her finger fitted it perfectly.
He was still holding her hand. Without thinking Julie looked up at him, her eyes widening slightly in a mixture of panic and longing as she saw the way he was looking back at her, his eyes darkening as he shifted his gaze from her eyes to her mouth and then began to lower his head. His intention of kissing her was quite plain.
Ridiculously, Julie panicked, shaking her head and pulling back from him as she told him quickly, ‘There’s no need for that. We both know that it doesn’t mean anything.’
Why was he frowning at her? She would have thought that he’d be pleased that she was being so sensible and businesslike, that she was not expecting him to behave as though he was a real bride- groom-to-be and she his bride. If that had been the case then…
Then what? Then right now she would be in his arms, her love for him spilling emotionally from her heart as she told him how much his love meant to her?
A small noise indicated that Josh had woken up, and, glad of the opportunity to do so, Julie turned away from Rocco to go to her nephew.
Having picked Josh up, it was safe to turn round and look at him. She was holding Josh like a barrier between them.
There was something she had to say to him. She took a deep breath, and said huskily, ‘Thank you.’ She swallowed, and then added, ‘For…for everything. I know this can’t be something that you really want. It’s different for me, of course. I have to put Josh first. But…what I’m trying to say is…I’m very grateful to you for what you’re doing.’
Rocco nodded his head, but the grim look he was giving her suggested that her gratitude didn’t really mean very much to him. Was he having second thoughts? Wishing that he hadn’t behaved so gallantly and taken on such a heavy responsibility?
When he left without saying anything more, Julie didn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed.
In the corridor outside Julie’s room, Rocco stared unseeingly into the shadows. His reaction when Julie had recoiled from him as he’d bent his head to kiss her had stunned him, catching him off guard. But it was irritation he felt, nothing else. Irritation because she was clinging so naïvely and stubbornly to her adolescent crush, elevating it to a status it didn’t deserve. She had rejected his kiss out of some misguided loyalty to a man who had never taken the time to show her pleasure. Well, let her deny herself the pleasure they could have shared if she wished. Why should he care?
But he did care, Rocco recognised as he headed for the stairs. He cared very much. Abruptly he stopped in mid-step. He cared? For her? Was that his real motivation for marrying her? No! He was marrying her because it was his responsibility to do so and for no other reason.
* * *
Daylight was creeping into the room through the uncurtained windows as the night’s shadows lifted. Julie didn’t know whether to be alarmed or relieved. She had barely slept—how could she, knowing what the morning would bring?—and now that the day was here she could feel the enormity of what lay ahead flooding her senses.
Removed from their protective covers, the gowns fluttered like fragile ghosts in the breeze from the open windows. Julie had already made up her mind which one she would wear—the simplest of the three, in matt cream silk satin and cut on the bias, its seams sewn with tiny pearls. Pearls for tears? No, she mustn’t think of that. It had a high neckline and long sleeves, and a small bustle at the back, falling into a demi-train. She had chosen it because she felt that its plainness and its high neckline and long sleeves were more suited to the occasion than the more flamboyant styles of the other two gowns.
There was no time for her to linger over her preparations.
Maria, who had brought her the breakfast she had not been able to eat, had returned to help her dress and take charge of Josh for her.
Julie leaned over the cot to look at the sleeping baby. She could see for herself the way in which their time here had already benefited him. He looked so much healthier, and he was happier too. It had startled her at first to see the way Josh looked towards Rocco whenever he was in the same room. His delight when Rocco smiled at him or picked him up was plain to see. If he were never to see Rocco again he would miss him, but he was barely two months old—he would forget him.
It was all very well her telling herself that it would be wrong to deprive Josh of Rocco’s presence in his life, but wasn’t she only doing so to mask the fact that she wanted to marry Rocco? Rocco was not connected by blood in any way to Josh, after all. But that did not mean they could not form a deep emotional bond. Just as it had surprised her to see how Josh responded to Rocco, so too it had amazed her to see the genuine warmth and tenderness in Rocco whenever he was with Josh. Was she doing the right thing? Or was she rushing into something that she would later regret?
It was too late. Maria was holding out her dress for her.
Giving Josh a light kiss, Julie went back to stand submissive whilst Maria fussed round her, her manner and her expression filled with the delight and excitement that Julie knew she should be sharing.
It felt so unreal, stepping into her wedding dress. In the past when she had dreamed of this moment she had imagined herself in her childhood home with her parents—not here, in this feudal land of powerful, arrogant men who lived by their word, their honour and their pride. She had dreamed of marrying James and of a quiet, steadfast love. Not Rocco and the fierce, dangerous passion he aroused in her.
Maria was sobbing emotionally, praising the beauty of her gown and her good luck in securing such a wonderful man—a Leopardi—for her husband.
All too soon it was time for her to go downstairs to where Rocco’s lawyer was waiting to escort her to the private chapel. He told her Rocco was already waiting for her.
