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It was about a week later that the sound of the telephone ringing woke Sally up from a deep sleep. Joel had gone out, down to the leisure centre, no doubt, and the children were back at school.
Groggily she got out of bed and went downstairs to answer it.
‘Sally… it’s Kenneth.’
Her heart flipped over and then started to race. ‘Kenneth…’ She leaned weakly against the wall, her face flushed and hot.
‘When can I see you?’ she heard him asking.
She wasn’t going to see him again; she had already made that decision. It was safer… wiser.
‘I’ve got an appointment at the hospital on Monday,’ Kenneth told her without waiting for her to reply. ‘What time does your shift end?’
‘Two o’clock,’ she told him automatically, adding quickly, ‘But Kenneth, I can’t——’
‘I’ll be waiting for you,’ he told her softly, cutting across her anxious objections.
He had hung up before she could make a firm denial. Shakily Sally leaned against the wall, cradling the receiver against her body as she closed her eyes guiltily.
She should not be doing this; she was a married woman and, no matter how physically plat
onic her relationship with Kenneth might be, she knew that her feelings for him, the happiness she experienced in his company, did threaten her relationship with Joel.
As she replaced the receiver, she swallowed uncomfortably. How many times recently had she inwardly made comparisons between Kenneth and Joel; how many times had she found herself looking at Joel, watching him, listening to him and wishing that…?
That what?
It was Joel’s fault she was feeling like this, she reassured herself angrily. If he weren’t so wrapped up in his own life, if just for once he asked her what she wanted, how she felt, if just for once he would give her the same consideration and support he expected to receive from her, things might be different.
Daphne and Kenneth were both right. He did take her for granted. He was selfish and inconsiderate.
But he was still her husband.
The phone rang again and she tensed immediately, her hand shaking slightly as she picked up the receiver. If it was Kenneth ringing again then she would tell him that she had changed her mind and that she couldn’t meet him. Couldn’t ever see him again…
She swallowed hard against the depression and sense of loss constricting her throat. But her caller wasn’t Kenneth, it was her sister Daphne.
‘Joel still hasn’t been round to do that wallpapering,’ Daphne informed her.
‘I’ll speak to him about it,’ Sally promised her wearily ten minutes later, cutting through her sister’s tirade.
Sally was still smarting from Daphne’s criticisms and complaints half an hour later when Joel walked in. She saw him frown as he glanced across at her, and then placed the pile of books he was carrying down on the table. The table she had so recently cleared of all its accumulated clutter.
Her temper, so often recently on a short fuse, flared as she shouted, ‘Don’t you dare leave those there, Joel. Can’t you see that I’ve only just finished cleaning up in here?’
She stopped abruptly. Her whole body was shaking inside; she felt sick and shocked, her sudden unprovoked outburst both frightening and yet exhilarating her somehow at the same time.
Joel said nothing, made no response to her anger—he just stood there, looking at her.
Couldn’t he see that it was his fault that she was behaving like this? She could feel the anger surging through her again at his refusal to respond to or acknowledge her feelings.
‘I’m going to be working a double shift on Monday,’ she told him, turning her back to him as she spoke.
As soon as the words had left her mouth she wanted to recall them. That hadn’t been what she had intended to say at all. Her face burned with heat; she felt light-headed and dizzy, like someone in shock, and she waited for Joel to say something, to object or protest, hoping almost that he would.
She had never lied to Joel before, never deliberately deceived him in any way, about anything—had never felt any need to—and yet here she was lying to him so that she could see another man… be with another man…
A man who treated her far better than Joel did, she reminded herself fiercely. A man who valued her… who put her first. A man who could see, as Joel apparently could not, how much she needed someone in her life to support her, to cherish her.
