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‘You look wonderful,’ he told her as she firmly turned her face to one side so that his kiss landed on her cheek instead of her mouth. ‘No need to ask if you’ve missed me,’ he added with a satisfied smile as they walked towards the exit. ‘I can see for myself how much trouble you’ve gone to to look good for me. And you do look good, Lucianna,’ he told her. ‘I’ll show you how good later.’
‘I’m afraid I’ve got some work to do later, John,’ Lucianna said quickly, deftly stepping to one side as he made to place his arm around her.
‘Work? You mean you’re trying to stick together someone’s beat-up old banger,’ he commented disparagingly.
‘No, that wasn’t what I meant,’ Lucianna denied. She had forgotten the way John loved to make depreciatory remarks about her work, putting both it and her down, but whereas once they had hurt her now they simply irritated her.
‘You haven’t said yet that you’re pleased I came back from Canada early,’ John reminded her.
‘You haven’t told me yet why you’re back ahead of time,’ Lucianna parried, and then realised that she had obviously hit a hidden and very raw nerve as John’s face suddenly turned brick-red and he turned away from her.
‘There was a bit of a problem—a clash of personalities…I don’t want to talk about work,’ he said, then turned back to smile at her. ‘I’d much rather talk about us…I’ve been thinking about us a lot whilst I’ve been away, Luce…missing you a lot…’
Lucianna’s heart missed a beat. She had known when she’d agreed to collect John from the airport that sooner or later she was going to have to tell him that their relationship was over, but then she had not expected him to behave as though…as though their relationship had a great deal more meaning for him than he had ever previously given her cause to believe.
Had she misread the situation before he’d gone away—the growing distance between them and John’s increasing tendency to treat her as though he was growing tired of her? Or was she being overly suspicious in thinking that there was more to his sudden interest in her than met the eye?
And then, as she looked away from John, she suddenly froze as, totally unexpectedly, she saw Jake walking across the airport concourse. At her side John’s voice was a distant, monotonous blur—just like John himself—her whole attention, yes, her whole being focused on Jake through the waves of anguished longing and pain that rocked through her.
How was it possible to love someone so much and yet at the same time almost hate them for the hurt they had caused you? Abruptly Jake stood still and Lucianna felt as though her heart had stopped beating as he turned his head slowly, searching the concourse for someone. She held her breath and then released it on a sharp, rattling sob as she saw him look directly at her.
Across the distance that separated them she could still see his expression, and his eyes and mouth hardened as he looked at her.
Desperate to salvage something of her pride and self-respect, Lucianna acted entirely on instinct, grabbing hold of John’s arm and snuggling up close to him as she smiled at him through her pain.
It seemed almost grotesque now to think that once the immediacy and enthusiasm of John’s appreciative response to her gesture would have meant so much to her, whilst now it meant so little.
‘Let’s get out of here,’ she heard John muttering ardently, and through her tears she could just about see Jake turning on his heel and walking contemptuously away as John urged her towards the exit.
‘Look, Luce, if you want to give your business another go, Janey and I…’ David began awkwardly the day after John’s return, but Lucianna shook her head as she smiled wanly at him.
‘Thanks, David, but no…Anyway it’s too late,’ she told him quietly. ‘I’ve already put the ad in the paper—it comes out tomorrow.
‘Hopefully by the time you and Janey get back from holiday the barn will be empty. What’s happening about the stock whilst you’re away, by the way?’ she asked him incuriously.
‘There’s no need for you to worry about that,’ David assured her. ‘That’s all sorted out…You could do with a holiday yourself,’ he added. ‘Perhaps you and John…?’
Lucianna shook her head. ‘John’s too busy at work to take any time off at the moment,’ she told her brother, not untruthfully, but what she didn’t add was that the last thing she wanted was to place herself in a position where she would have to spend time alone in John’s company.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport?’ she asked David.
‘No, it’s all right; Janey’s booked the taxi.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘Just think, another twelve hours and we’ll be away from all this.’
‘Stop trying to make me jealous.’ Lucianna smiled, trying to enter into his playful mood and not wanting to spoil his anticipation of their holiday with her own unhappiness and despair. Tonight John was taking her out for a meal, not that she particularly wanted to go, not in fact that she wanted to see him at all really. Despite the fact that he was full of fulsome praise for the change in her outward appearance, Lucianna sensed that he was at heart no more emotionally involved with her than she was with him.
‘Right, that’s it,’ Janey announced as she came into the kitchen. ‘The cases are finally packed…Have you got the passports and our tickets ready, David? The taxi will be here soon…’
‘They’re safe in my jacket pocket,’ David assured her. ‘I’ll go and bring down the cases.’
Half an hour after David and Janey had gone Lucianna went upstairs to get ready for her date with John.
With a wry smile she removed her new trouser suit from her wardrobe. She had changed immeasurably in countless ways from the girl who had been dragged so reluctantly and defiantly on that shopping trip with Jake. Gently she touched the fabric of the suit. Like a faded rose packed carefully in tissue to protect it from the damaging light of the sun she had stored away her own precious memories, and one of those was the look on Jake’s face when he had seen her wearing the silk suit.
As she showered and dressed and put on her make-up Lucianna acknowledged that she was not looking forward to the evening ahead at all.
What amazed her almost more than anything else was what she could possibly have seen in John in the first place. He was, she realised, everything she most disliked in a man—immature, self-centred, wholly lacking in sensitivity or any genuine warmth; nothing whatsoever like…
Shakily she put down the brush she had just picked up to apply her lipstick.
