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I caution myself to slow down, to calm my thoughts before I spiral out of control.
“That’s amazing,” Sadie says. “Honestly, I’m so happy for you. How did it happen?”
I tell her all of it quickly, from admitting my virginity to the way he held me, telling me it only makes him want me more. I don’t go into detail about the way he makes me feel, about the lust he prompts inside of me each time he so much as touches me. But I’m sure Sadie can hear the passion burning beneath my words.
“This is so awesome,” Sadie says. “So he’s going to buy you a dress and pick you up after work?”
“Yeah,” I tell her. “I’m going to shower here and then I guess… we’re going on our date. Jeez, it doesn’t even feel real when I say it out loud.”
“But it is real,” she says firmly. “It’s happening, Rosie. And I couldn’t be happier for you.”
Glancing around the break room to make sure it’s empty – even if I know it is – I let out a soft sigh.
“What is it?” she prompts.
“What if he wants to take things further after our date?” I whisper.
“Do you want to take things further?” she asks.
“Yes.” The answer comes out reflexively, from a deep honest place inside of me. “But there’s a difference between wanting that and actually being able to do that, you know.”
“Rosie, you don’t need to overthink this,” she says. “I know you haven’t got much experience in this area—”
“Well, any,” I cut in, trying for a joking tone and failing.
“Fine,” she allows. “But that doesn’t mean you have to worry about it. If you want it, you’ll know what to do when the time comes.”
“Really?” I ask. “Do you honestly believe that?”
“I know how much you like Ryker,” she says. “So yes, yes I do.”
“But what if I don’t live up to his expectations?”
She laughs softly. “Oh, Rosie. He wants you. He wants you so badly he asked you out before letting another week pass by. He’s clearly very attracted to you. It sounds like you’re already living up to his expectations.”
I try to hold onto her words, to nestle them deep inside of me, to cradle them and let them bolster me.
But I still can’t shake the idea that if we walk to his bedroom together, I’ll ruin it just like I did last time. I’ll run for the door, tell him to stop, even if my heart and my body don’t want him to stop.
Even if he told me he wants me more than all those Hollywood starlets, it doesn’t stop me from comparing myself to them, an endless judgment that results only in pain.
“You’re not going to cancel, are you?” Sadie says into the silence.
I sit up straighter as my body rebels at the thought, gritting my teeth and shaking my head firmly. It’s like the movement comes from inside me, my desire to give him a family, a future, even if he’d think I’m crazy if I ever told him the path my thoughts were leading me down.
“No, no way. Sure, I’m nervous. Sure, maybe that’s the understatement of the century. But I’m not going to let that stop me.”
“Well done, sis,” Sadie says. “I’m proud of you.”
Chapter Fifteen
Ryker
Waiting for Rosie to finish work is almost as hard as waiting a whole week to see her.
Now that I know she feels the same way I do – at least partly – all I want is to spend as much time with her as possible.
I must cut a pretty strange sight as I swagger into the upscale dress shop, under the brightly lit lights, my thoughts consumed with the kiss we shared.
I touched her every chance I got, helping her down from the bike, correcting her posture during some light weightlifting, my hands formed perfectly to her perfect body, but always I sensed she wanted me to wait, to pull back a little, at least for now.
How long do I think I can fight this urge?
I walk up and down the aisles, my eyes scanning over the dresses, the base of my cock pulsing, burning, when I imagine my woman wrapped up like a gift for me.
“Have you got something to tell me?”
I turn at the sound of Zane’s voice, a chord of rage willing me to leap at him and punch him across the jaw.
He looks like even more of a junkie than the last time I saw him, his cheeks hollowed out, his hair greasy. His eyes are glassy and twitching in a way that makes me, for half a second, almost feel sorry for the prick.
“I don’t like being followed, Zane,” I snarl, walking over to him and staring down at him hard.
His gaze drops, the cowardly fucked.
“Who said I was following you?”
