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“My…bait is just fine, thank you very much.” I bristled, sitting up straighter, spine stiffening like the cat when I offended his dignity. “I’ll have you know I had a delightful Christmas with him and his family.”
Oops. I hadn’t meant to reveal that.
“Then why so glum, sweetie? Go jump his bones until your post-Christmas funk passes.”
“Not that simple,” I countered. But maybe it was. We hadn’t parted badly. Paul had certainly been affectionate enough all day. I could probably wheedle a booty call out of him without much effort. Put another delicious encounter in my memory bank. But every time I thought about texting him, my fists clenched into tight balls.
Lori sighed heavily. “You’ve never met a problem you couldn’t overthink.”
“I’m not even sure there is a problem,” I admitted. If Paul would be happy enough to oblige me with sex, and I had the perfect excuse of the wedding to stick around and offer continuing help, maybe this pining for something more truly was ridiculous. The cat had made his way downstairs at last and prowled along the back of the couch, undoubtedly on the hunt for more treats, but he evaded my hand when I tried to give him a pat.
“See? There you go. Go lay out some more fox bait,” Lori ordered lightly as more voices sounded on her end, typical evening chaos with the kids. “I’ve got to go, but I’m cheering for you. And I’m here if you need to talk more. I know all about your post-Christmas crash. You can call me.”
“I’m fine.” Somehow my repetition hadn’t worked yet. I still wasn’t fine. “You have fun at Disney tomorrow.”
“We will. Take care, sweetie.”
We ended the call, and I hauled myself up off the couch. I had an unopened carton of eggnog and a liquor cabinet calling my name, but when I arrived in the kitchen, a peculiar scraping sound distracted me. I went to the window where I discovered Paul in our shared driveway with a shovel and a huge bag of rock salt. As I watched, he salted not only his own walk but mine too.
Huh. Had he done that previously and I’d never noticed? Or had something changed to make him think he needed to take care of me? Perversely, I wasn’t sure I liked that. Him taking care of me was perilously close to more pity. If I was Lori, I’d say he was making sure the path between us was clear, a sweet, very Paul gesture to ensure I didn’t fall en route to a hookup.
But my phone was devoid of messages. No request for a booty call. No suggestion of plans for tomorrow or the next day. Maybe he truly was like the cat and didn’t need me nearly as much as I needed him. And that sobering thought was what kept me anchored to the spot in front of the window, keeping me from going to him.
A braver man would call out to him, offer him a hot beverage to warm up, let things inevitably turn sexy from there. A truly courageous person would try talking to Paul. I wasn’t brave. Not like that. But I wanted to be.
Chapter Thirty-One
Hopefully, this is the last night of bad traffic around here. Can’t wait for the lights to come down and things to return to normal. ~Ernest Morrison posted to the What’s Up Neighbor app
Paul
“I made hot chocolate.” Elaine had a steaming mug on the counter for me after I removed my boots and coat.
“Thanks.” I wrapped my hands around the warm mug. Even having worn gloves, my fingers were still half-frozen. “Cold out there.”
“Surprised you didn’t go next door to warm up.” Tittering, she took a seat on one of the island stools, leaving me to follow suit.
“Me too.” There had been a moment where I’d been sure I saw his shadow in his window, but he hadn’t called out, and I hadn’t gone over and knocked. “I think he needed some alone time. He seemed tired after dinner.”
“You’re wearing him out.” Her eyes were sly as she took a sip of her cocoa.
“Maybe.” I didn’t regret the sex one bit, but maybe I had been keeping him up late and away from his own bed more than I should have. That was what had kept me from going to him. If he needed some time to recharge, the least I could do was give it to him. I glanced around the kitchen, surprised Elaine’s constant shadow was nowhere to be seen. “Where’s Brandon?”
“Taking a hot shower to warm up.” She pointed toward the stairs. “He says his body isn’t used to this kind of cold anymore.”
“I’ll turn up the thermostat.”
“You can do that, but honestly, he probably wanted the escape.” She rolled her shoulders from side to side. “Like Gideon. Too many hours of socializing, and besides, he always does his best thinking in the shower.”
“He always did love baths when he was little.” I smiled at the memory of the hours he’d spent in the tub in the apartment, me sitting in the doorway, trying to make sense of one of the textbooks for my community college business classes, and him babbling about some interesting scientific tidbit.
“He’s so lucky he had you.” Elaine’s smile was even warmer than the hot chocolate and made the back of my neck heat.
“Thanks.”
“Was it terribly hard?” She touched my arm. “Doing it all on your own?”
“N—” I started the same lie I told everyone, but then I remembered Gideon and our pact to be honest about when things sucked. Maybe there wasn’t virtue in pretending. “Yeah. It wasn’t easy. But it was worth it. He’s worth it.”
