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After that, we warm up at the Teddy Bear Café, where Ryan humors me by buying me a Bavarian Reindeer.
It’s a whirlwind from there. At one point, there’s the originally planned sleigh ride, then lunch at Gingersnap’s before ice skating at the rink over at the River Place shops. And the ice skating is like something straight out of a holiday movie. We hold hands and glide along and when I stumble he catches me and there’s kissing and Christmas music playing and it’s all so perfect it feels like I’m on a movie set.
It’s the kind of day that feels like it shouldn’t be real, especially when it ends with another Christmas marathon while I help him decorate his Christmas tree with Uncle Joe’s old ornaments. We find a few that have pictures of Ryan on them, looking young and sullen as only a teenage Ryan could. But we laugh about them, and Ryan hangs them proudly on the tree.
It’s later, when he’s fallen asleep next to me during Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, that I realize that this is it. This is him deciding to stay.
He’s the kind of present that I’m scared to open completely. The one where you peel away the paper a little bit at a time, just in case someone swoops in and takes it away. The kind of ornament that you love too much and it makes you worry about putting it up on one of the branches.
What if it falls? you think. What if it breaks?
But I guess that’s the thing about Christmas.
Sometimes, you just have to believe.
Chapter Twelve
I’m always excited for book club. Honestly, there are few things in the world that make me happier than book club with my girls. It’s that Christmas feeling that I chase every year, that warmth and joy, but with more frequency.
But today I’m only mildly excited to talk about the book we read this month. I’m far more excited to talk about the romance that I’m living. The one where Ryan and I are clearly meant for each other. I mean, I’ll hold off on asking him to send Christmas cards together, but it’s clear. We are meant to be. We are like hot cocoa and marshmallows. We just fit.
“Y’all, he’s like a real-life Hallmark movie,” I gush as I sit down. “We are so in love!”
I expect this announcement to be met with applause or, at least, a round of “Oh, my God!” But instead, Sutton and Lexi just look at each other and then look down at the table.
“What?” I ask. “Did something happen to Linus or something?”
Sutton fingers the tip of her blonde braid. “No, nothing happened to Linus.”
“Then why do you two look like I just told you that Santa fell out of his sleigh while he was over the Atlantic?”
Lexi laughs. “Leave it to you to make the most bizarre Christmas metaphor.”
“I’m serious,” I say. “What’s up? I just told you both that I’m madly in love, and you look like you swallowed crappy eggnog.”
“All eggnog is crappy,” Lexi says. “You dairy fiends.”
I glare at her. I know she’s just trying to avoid saying what she really feels.
“I know I talked a lot of shit about Ryan,” I admit. “But it’s because I just misunderstood him and I was deflecting having feelings for him. He was having a hard time with his uncle passing and with Christmas and all of that… it was really my bad. He’s perfect, though, and we’re meant for each other.”
Sutton bites her lip. “Are you though, or is this just your fantasy about falling in love at Christmas time talking?”
It feels like a slap in the face. Sure, I love a good Christmas romcom as much as the next girl—okay, maybe more than the next girl—but I’m also not dumb. I know the real world. I’ve seen the opposite end of the love spectrum with my parents, and this is not that. This is a fairytale.
No.
It’s a fairytale in a snow globe.
“No, of course not,” I insist. “This is the real deal, guys. He’s forever material.”
Sutton and Lexi exchange another look of concern, as if I’m not right here. It’s annoying, and it’s unfair. It’s a Christmas-loving problem, I’m convinced. When your favorite holiday is about joy, people don’t take you seriously about anything. I bet Halloween lovers don’t get this kind of sass.
“I don’t know,” Sutton says finally. “Jake says Ryan’s headed back to Chicago as soon as the house is sold.”
“Oh, that.” I laugh and wave her off with my hand, already relieved. Because there’s absolutely no way that’s true. Ryan’s clearly been sucked in by the magic of Christmas—and me, obviously—and there’s no way he’d leave now. Not after the last week.
“Nope, no way,” I say. “Sorry, Sutton, but you’re wrong on this one. You should see him. He’s really getting into doing work around the… wait. Jake? What’s going on with you and Jake? Are you banging Jake?”
