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I heard the chill in my voice, and it scared me that it came from me. But how else could I respond? The man ruined me, my life, my hopes, and my dreams. True, he gave me my most precious gift—our son—but that was very accidental.
He bit down on his lower lip, staring at his shoes like a punished kid.
“I’d really like to make this work.”
“Make what work?”
“I want to see him, Nessy. My son.”
“He has a name.”
He closed his eyes, agony painting his too-familiar features.
“His name is Bear,” I said.
“I know.”
“It’s a weird name, don’t you think?” I taunted, not exactly sure where I was going with this, but wanting to inflict as much pain as possible on him.
Rob looked up, pulling dead skin from the lip he bit on just a second ago with his teeth.
“I don’t think I have the right to pass judgment. I wasn’t there to name him.”
“Dang straight, you weren’t.”
The fact that he was so pliant, so readily apologetic, took the sting out of my need to be rude to him. Some of it.
He raked his fingers through his hair.
“Look, Nessy, I know I messed up, and I know the best way to show you I mean business now is to prove to you, over time, how much I’ve changed. The last couple years really did shift something in me. Countless times I wanted to reach out as the years passed …” He took a breath, shaking his head. “Well, anyway. I’m working for my dad now, right here in town. He has this realty business. I got a house just down the street from you, so you can holler at me if you need anything at all. Here’s my number.”
He handed me a business card. I took it and shoved it into my pajama pockets without looking, breathing through my nose to avoid tears. Rob hung around on the porch, looking a little hesitant and a lot wary.
“What is it?” I rolled my eyes. “I know you want to say something else.”
“Well…this may be too soon, but…”
“What?”
I searched his face, and realized that even though he looked familiar, he was also unrecognizable. A man. A total stranger, who now looked at me, his expression full of angst, and didn’t resemble one bit the boy I’d once dated.
“I want to make it up to you, too, Nessy. Not just Bear. I want to try to win you back, too.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. I’ve never stopped caring about you, Tennessee. I—”
“Thanks, but I’d rather lick the door handle of the nearest public bathroom.”
This time when I slammed the door in his face, I didn’t open it again.
There was only so much bull a woman could tolerate in a day.
I was well into my third serving of fine—discounted, almost-certainly-expired—wine when I remembered to book those tickets for the cruise.
I fired up my ancient laptop and typed in the web address my parents had given me for the cruise company. They had warned me a thousand times not to screw it up.
They had a good reason to, too.
