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“What are they supposed to be?” Tyson asked quietly.
“Fine as hell,” my sister sassed in the same hushed tone.
“Oh, god,” I muttered before he even reacted.
The word fine to Alex brought about the same reaction me shaking a bag of dog treats for Ragnor did. It didn’t matter where he was or what he was doing, he’d come running like a bat out of hell to get the goods.
“Who’s fine?” he exclaimed loud enough for everyone passing by the restaurant to hear. He twisted around and found the source of all the stares. “Them? Damn!”
Amused laughter spilled from the booths surrounding ours.
“Alex!” I whispered harshly.
“If that’s the kind of kinky thing you two are into I’m not mad. At all. Collin, you never stood a chance.”
“Oh, my god.” I covered my brow and took an immediate interest in the glass of water I’d nearly drained.
“You think that’s attractive?” Collin asked dryly, ignoring Alex’s direct jab.
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me or my sister, but Jacob replied before either of us could.
“Bellatrix did a whole ass presentation on her love for Pinhead with detailed notes on how he was a good guy and misunderstood. For her to notice anyone breathing amongst us mere mortals, well, that’s historical. Sadly, She and Angeline don’t like dick, so you’re still not winning anything here, Collin. Let’s just appreciate they noticed someone that has one.”
“Stop saying that,” I protested. “We don’t have anything against…”
“Dick,” Alex whirled around and stated in a dramatically deep voice.
Bellatrix and Tyson started to laugh, drawing more attention to our table. I should have crawled beneath it because, in true Alex fashion, he was far from done.
He jumped up and began waving at the group just as an employee started to approach them.
“Hey, come join us!”
“Alex,” Collin objected.
The group shared a look, ultimately ignoring his offer and following the very confused man who’d come to seat them.
“How rude! Hey--.”
I stood and grabbed hold of his arm to get his attention, saving us from further humiliation. “Sit down right now,” I commanded, trying not to laugh.
He huffed and fell back into his seat. The pixie broke away from her friends and approached us with a small smile.
“Thanks for the offer, but they’re a bit wary of tourists.”
Alex scoffed. “We’re completely harmless. It’s not like we dressed up as Jefferey Dahmer and Ted Bundy.”
“He’s known to be dramatic. It’s perfectly fine you don’t need to apologize,” Bellatrix assured her.
“Yeah, I would have done the same thing and ignored him,” Collin added, suddenly agreeable.
“Well, thanks for calling us over anyway” she replied softly. “I’m Elizabeth, by the way.”
Alex smiled brightly. “Ah, like Elizabeth Taylor! I love that. Has anyone ever told you that you resemble her?”
“Oh, my gosh,” I whispered to myself.
He was so full of shit. She was adorable, and had a gorgeous shade of nearly violet eyes, but nothing like Elizabeth Taylor.
Tyson covered a laugh with a cough from beside me.
She knew it too. With a polite smile, she turned and went to join her friends.
“What the fuck, Alex?” Jacob scolded as soon as she was out of earshot.
He would always back Alex up in the heat of the moment, but if he was wrong about something he didn’t hold back letting him know after the fact.
“What? I was trying to get Angel and Trixie some long-overdue action. My bad.”
Bellatrix shook her head. “We are perfectly capable of getting laid on our own.”
“Sure, sure,” he brushed her off. “It’s probably for the best, they’re most likely serial killers or something.”
I frowned at him. “Really?”
Tyson leaned forward and placed both his paws on the table, quickly changing the subject. “Can you pull up those specs you were telling me about for Davenport?”
“Yes!” Alex exclaimed, instantly taken with this new subject.
Hopefully discussing their jobs shared interests kept him talking for the remainder of the meal.
I honestly didn’t know where Alex got the idea, we were man-haters of some kind.
We didn’t have anything against men. I hadn’t sworn off them or their penises like Jacob seemed to think. It was hard to connect with guys, that’s all. These four were my best friends, which made it entirely different.
Two were madly in love. Tyson was GQ worthy handsome, but our bond had never been anything other than platonic. We were more like brother and sister. As for Collin, he wasn’t someone I could say truly counted as an ex, that’s how short-lived our relationship was. I’d never had romantic feelings for him. Trying to sleep together had been even worse.
Sex was weird for me in general.
It never felt right and brought forward thoughts most ‘normal’ people wouldn’t have.
I’d tried a few different times before deciding all the hassle of getting to that point with someone was far from worth it. Finding a guy who could check all my boxes was just begging to end up in a room with padded walls.
