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I feel my face flush with a new emotion.
Something I’ve never felt with Zoe.
I’m suddenly jealous.
I can’t even have him touch me when I need it, when I need him to comfort me, and here she is hitting him and making it all about her.
Michael notices, and gently holding both Zoe’s hands to stop her, he assures her that he’ll be here for her birthday.
“And you’re staying for Zoe’s birthday too, right Sheree?” he asks, giving me another of those intense looks.
“I… I’m not sure. I suppose,” I mumble, Zoe stops fooling around and gives me a wounded look.
“I mean,” I try to tell her calmly, but still feeling the green eyed monster in me starting to squirm. “That I’m not sure exactly when I’m going back. The flight keeps changing, all this business with the airlines and the weather,” I remind us all.
There’s an awkward silence, and Zoe looks at her feet before her dad breaks the somber mood I’ve managed to coat everyone in.
“Hey! Why don’t we all go back to our place, Zoe? We can order in Chinese on the way and then watch an old movie or something,” Michael suggests, making her lips tug into a half-smile.
She turns to me with a forgiving eye.
“Should we?” she asks, and I give a nod, both of us meeting each other halfway in the middle of my tiny dorm room to hug each other in silent apology.
Everything’s forgiven.
“But how will I get back?” I ask aloud.
“You can stay, can’t she dad?” Zoe asks, and I turn to see a look in Michael Grayson’s eyes that feels like someone’s just pulled the pin out of a grenade and asked him to hold onto it.
‘Just for a minute, Mike. It won’t go off, promise…’
“I can drop Sheree back,” he says casually, making a face that I can’t interpret.
Does he want me there or not?
A few minutes ago I was sure he was gonna… I mean it felt like we could’ve…
“Sheree?” Zoe asks, looking to me for confirmation but glancing at her dad sidelong too. Sensing something’s not quite right somehow, so I pipe in to break the spell.
“Sure. I mean, I have all this to pack anyways, maybe I could stay another night… before I go back?” I suggest.
The sound Michael Grayson makes sees both me and Zoe turn to look at him.
His daughter asks if he’s okay. And me?
I think he’s just told me more than he ever could in four years with a single, low involuntary sound.
Chapter Four
Michael
Zoe may not be as bright academically as Sheree, but she’s no dummy either.
She knows me well enough, as well as her best friend. So when she sees me in her bestie’s dorm, which never happens, she looks puzzled.
Then when I suggest dinner, visibly squirming when she suggests Sheree stay the night, I can see her mind looking for pieces to join together.
Something’s up and she knows it. I can see her eyes searching mine, but the thought of me and Sheree just isn’t there.
Knowing my Zoe, she probably thinks a surprise birthday is being planned without her knowing, so when she just turns up like she has of course dad and Sheree are gonna be acting a little odd.
See?
I hope that’s all it is.
Note to self: plan a surprise party for Zoe. A big one.
I hate to admit it because I love Zoe so much. But this whole week has seen my head filled with Sheree leaving for good and not much else.
Even my own plans for the future are cloudy, except for the ones that I’ve crafted with Sheree in them.
Those plans I could act on in a New York minute. Or so I thought.
It’s like every time I see her now I want to grab hold of her and just tell her. Show her that she’s the one for me.
That I don’t know how my life will carry on with any meaning unless she comes with me. Unless she lets me claim her as my own, filling her with our babies so we can be the one thing I know she’s never had.
A real family.
I’ve had four years to tell her.
Four fucking years, and like a freshman studying before his first big test, I’ve left it all until the last minute.
“Grab your coat, Shez. We’ll be in the car where it’s warmer,” Zoe says, sounding more excited as she tugs at my sleeve.
“Uh, dad? You coming too or are we gonna stand and stare at Sheree all day?”
I smile down at her, hooking my arm in hers to disguise the break in my reverie over Sheree.
As a matter of fact, I could stand and watch her all day… and all night.
Walking down to the car I parked not far from the dorm entrance, I can’t help but look back. Almost annoyed when I can’t see Sheree coming yet.
