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My heart is hammering through my chest when he kisses me softly. No aggression, no arousal, just soft, sweet kissing. That was perfect. He’s perfect.
“Can we go back to the room?” he whispers into my cheek.
Oh shit. My face falls.
A frown crosses his forehead. “Why did your face just fall?”
I sit up nervously as my arousal high instantly disappears and is replaced by fear. I shake my head. “It didn’t,” I pant.
“I…” I hesitate. God, this sounds so lame. “I just want to take it a little slow. I’m not…” I stop myself I don’t want to sound like an idiot.
“You’re not what?”
“I’m not used to this sleeping around thing. I know you are, but…”
He kisses me. “I would really like to go back to the room and get rid of this hot mess in my pants. You can watch.” He raises a cheeky brow to sweeten the deal.
My eyes widen. “You would let me watch you get yourself off?”
“Yes. Why not?” He seems surprised that I would find this odd. I have only had a few partners and I know I am not super experienced, but I have never been in the space where a man has jacked off in front of me. A thrill of excitement runs through me as I realize he has the confidence to have no physical hang ups. Our eyes stay locked. Holy crap. He just may be the hottest man on the planet.
“What will you do?” I whisper.
He smirks sexily. “I’m sure I will think of something.”
I smile as I stand, and we kiss for a moment as he rewraps the towel around my chest and holds me in his strong arms. His pager goes off.
“Fuck’s sake,” he whispers under his breath. After reading the message, he rolls his eyes. “I got to go to work for a bit. I will walk you back to the room first.”
We walk hand in hand until we get to the door and we turn and face each other.
“I shouldn’t be long.”
I feel like I am being walked home by my cute first date and I have that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I lean in and gently kiss him. I run my fingers through his two-day growth and my hand lingers on his jaw. “See you soon,” I whisper.
He kisses me again and then again and he smiles as he scrunches his face up. “Screw work. Let’s go inside.”
I laugh. “Go.”
With a sigh and a roll of his eyes, he pecks me quickly and is striding up the hall and out of sight.
* * *
I stand on the chair in the bathroom as I try to catch a glimpse of myself in the smaller than small vanity mirror. I turn and look at my behind in the tight black dress. After Mac left this afternoon, I paid Ang a visit and borrowed one of her dresses. I don’t know if I’m delusional, if I have cabin fever, or whether I am just going plain batshit crazy, but I feel like tonight is a little different to my other nights on the ship.
I’m nervous. I’m excited. I’m petrified.
I have never lived like this, thrown caution to the wind and not thought about tomorrow. But this afternoon was so, so nice in his arms, and I think Ang is right—I have spent my entire life saving myself for nice guys and honorable men and they have all treated me like dirt. They lied to me, cheated on me, not to mention robbed me of my self-respect. I’m done with it.
I’m done with being the victim. I’m taking back control of my life right now.
Mac’s bad—a criminal, even—but he has saved my life and offered me protection when I desperately needed it. In two weeks I will be gone and nobody will be able to find me, not even him. So I’m going to take the solace of his warm arms and the feeling of safety he gives me for the short time while I can.
God knows I am going to be on my own for a long time after this in fucking Puerto Rico.
I glance at the clock on the wall. Where is he? He has been gone for a few hours and he said he wouldn’t be long. I put the chair back and straighten the bed linen and fold and put away our clothes that have come back from the laundry this afternoon. I go back into the bathroom and check how I look again. Bloody hell, maybe he won’t even be coming to dinner?
I take a seat on the bed and stare around at my surroundings. Dead silence. No television, no radio. How does he stay sane in this environment for so long on his own? No wonder he’s always horny.
