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“You’re Nino’s mother,” I tell her. “And he needs you in his life.”
She trembles with relief, and I can see the burden she’s carried for so long dissolving. If only she knew what it was about to cost her.
“It isn’t as simple as letting you go, Natalia. I can’t allow you to leave with him. If you try again, I won’t be able to protect you from the consequences. As far as The Society is concerned, I’m his father, and he is a Sovereign Son.”
Her fingers tighten around mine, and I force the rest of the words out as quickly as I can.
“There’s another option. It’s not ideal, but it’s the only way to keep you alive.”
She stares at me intently, holding her breath, and I suspect she already knows. Perhaps she can feel the terror radiating from me.
“You can marry me,” I say somberly.
I don’t know what sort of response I’m expecting from her exactly, but she gives me none. Before she can get any ideas about what it will be like, I decide it’s best to lay it out for her, so there are no questions.
“It will be a marriage in name only. We will live together and raise Nino. You’ll have my protection and your freedom, within reason.”
She exhales a shaky breath, and I release her hand before she can express her thoughts.
“You have twenty hours to decide. For now, I’d like you to eat something and visit your son. He’s missed you.”
As the deadline looms, I leave Natalia to spend time with Nino, periodically checking in on them through the surveillance system. He doesn’t know that she’s his mother yet, but someday he will. I think that’s more than enough to entice her into the shitty proposition of marriage I made, but I can’t help feeling sorry for it, and I also can’t help resenting her for it either.
I didn’t want this. I never wanted to marry. Now, my hand is being forced. Giving her the option to marry someone else in The Society wasn’t going to happen, not even over my dead body.
There’s a part of me that suspects she still might turn me down, even at the risk of death. If I were her, I probably would. I have little to offer her in the way of marital bliss. I can provide for her, I can protect her, but I can never give her the things she’ll probably want.
Love. Loyalty. Trust.
Those things are off the table. They have to be. It’s the only way to make this work. If she has no expectations of me, then she can never be disappointed.
When the hour finally approaches, I don’t have to seek her out. She comes to me in my office, phone in hand, and plays the message she’s already written.
I’ve been thinking about what you said, and there’s something I’d like to address first. I know Nino is a part of your world, and the connection to The Society is nonnegotiable, but I need your assurances that he won’t be a prisoner to it. I need to know that he will be free to make his own choices about his career path when the time comes. Who he marries. How many children he wants. I want him to make these decisions on his own even if they do not align with their standards. His happiness is the most important thing to me. I need your word he’ll have it.
I consider my answer carefully. Natalia doesn’t understand how The Society works. From her perspective, I can see how it might seem like a prison. Some of the practices are archaic, I can admit, but as a Sovereign Son, Nino will have more opportunities than most could ever dream of. In time, I believe she will come to see those advantages.
“He will always be free to make his own decisions,” I promise her. “As long as I have breath in my lungs, I will ensure that. The Society has expectations for members, but there are always choices. I want the same things for him that you do. I want him to be happy.”
Her posture relaxes, and she takes a seat across from me, writing a new note.
There’s one other thing I need to know.
“Okay.” I shift uncomfortably, wondering if she’s going to mention feelings.
I need to know if Enzo is dead.
“Yes.” My response is immediate.
It isn’t something I even have to think about, because I already knew she would ask. She won’t feel safe with me, or in The Society, if she knows he’s still alive. The lie is for her sake, but soon enough, it will be the truth. I had decided upon it before I even left the Tribunal. Enzo will pay for the crimes he’s committed, and it will be by my hand. First, I need to build my case against him, so they will grant my request.
