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McKenzie lifted her chin, almost daring him to say something. Yes, she had been crying. Yes, she knew her eyes were swollen. Yes, it embarrassed her that he was seeing her this way.
“Is there anything I can do?” he surprised her by asking, deflating her false bravado.
“I... No, there’s nothing you can do.” Nothing anyone could do. Either Paul loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her or he didn’t. Embarrassed that Ryder was seeing her when she was so dejected, when she knew her eyes were red rimmed from crying and that she likely had mascara running down her cheeks, she forced a weak smile to her face. “I had a long night on call at the hospital and didn’t get much rest. This morning has had a few unexpected things come up.” To say the least. “Thank you for the water and crackers.”
It was nice of him to get them for her when he hadn’t had to. She must have looked really bad for him to have felt the need. If he’d wanted reassurance on that, she doubted she looked any better after her mini-boohoo-fest.
“Truly.” She mentally willed the corners of her mouth upward again. “I’ll be fine.”
With that she closed the door, leaving him on the other side, and her knowing she had to get her act together to make it through the rest of her day.
If Ryder, who didn’t even like her, had shown such pity, her friends would be holding an intervention.
She’d wash her face, repair her makeup, and, should anyone ask, she’d blame any remaining puffy redness on her hospital on-call shift. Tonight, in the privacy of her home, she’d give rein to her broken heart.
CHAPTER TWO
A WEEK HAD passed since Paul’s decision to rock McKenzie’s world. The feeling of being on the verge of constant tears had eased somewhat. Instead, a mounting sense of panic was rapidly taking its place.
In less than two weeks she had to go to Tennessee to be in her cousin’s wedding.
Her cousin with the perfect life that her mother went on and on about. That was, when she wasn’t going on and on about how much she looked forward to meeting McKenzie’s future husband.
Because no matter how many times she’d attempted to tell her mother that she and Paul had broken up, McKenzie hadn’t been able to drag the words from the pits of her being.
She didn’t want to hear the sorrow, the pity, the disappointment in her mother’s voice.
Nor had she been able to tell Reva.
Oh, how she and her cousin had been so close once upon a time. Just for the longest time McKenzie had sensed her cousin’s awkwardness with McKenzie’s unhappy personal life, her guilt that her own love life seemed to always be so perfect when McKenzie’s hadn’t. Until McKenzie had started dating Paul, she and Reva had reached the point of barely talking. Only over the past few months as McKenzie had convinced her cousin that, yes, she had her own perfect life in Seattle, had she and her cousin’s relationship started getting past the awkwardness that had reared its ugly head when McKenzie had taken the residency in Seattle, despite all her family pushing her to stay in Nashville. Mostly, because they worried about her and wanted to fix her up with blind date after blind date.
No thank you.
Her mother had even gone online trying to find McKenzie dates in Seattle.
Meeting Paul and being able to tell her family to back off had been a godsend. Suddenly the tension between her and her mother had eased, the tension between her and Reva had eased.
Even McKenzie’s brother had seemed less worried about her being so far away.
How could she tell them she’d been dumped again?
The pressure to move home would renew, the meddling in her love life—or lack thereof—would start again. You’d think being so far away would keep the damage at a minimum, but McKenzie knew better.
She couldn’t go to Tennessee single.
Nor could she cancel out on being in Reva’s wedding. If Reva ever found out her reasons for doing so, her cousin’s guilt would be tenfold at having the perfect life while poor McKenzie had been dumped yet again.
Getting involved with someone was the last thing McKenzie wanted. Her breakup with Paul was too fresh. Maybe she’d never want to get involved again, but would decide to focus on her career and would dedicate her life to helping heal as many tiny hearts as she could even if she couldn’t do a darned thing to repair her emotionally broken one.
McKenzie didn’t want to meet anyone, didn’t want to start a new relationship, didn’t want the hassle of another heartbreak down the road.
Which explained her rather embarrassing internet search.
She was at the hospital in a small
dictation room off the pediatric cardiology unit, waiting on test results on a new admit, and had let desperation take hold during the rare moment of downtime.
She scrolled through her search results for “reputable dating services.” Ugh. How could she be so successful in her professional life and so unsuccessful in her personal?
