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“That’s what I thought. Even though it’s essentially a waiting game to see if Sawyer responds to the medication we’re giving her, I imagine you’re planning to stay close tonight.”
McKenzie nodded.
“Let’s get something in you so you don’t get run down and end up picking up a bug yourself.”
For a moment he thought she was going to tell him that whether or not she got run down wasn’t any of his business, but instead, she sighed. “I wouldn’t mind a cup of coffee.”
Despite the tension between them, he couldn’t help grinning.
“What?”
“You and your coffee.”
“Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s not amazing stuff.”
“Apparently.”
When they arrived at the mostly empty hospital cafeteria, they went through the line, each purchasing a few items before they sat down at a table together.
“How is your family?”
“Good. They’ve asked about you.”
Ryder looked at her in surprise. Not that her family had asked about him, but that she was telling him.
“I told Mark the truth. He was livid I’d felt the need to bring a pretend boyfriend home, but admitted he also understood why I had, and, on second thought, he thought it brilliant.”
“Your brother is a good guy.” He’d truly liked the pilot.
“Most days.” McKenzie sighed. “He said the same thing about you.”
“That I was a good guy?”
Pulling the top off a yogurt cup, she nodded. “He said you had to be a good guy to agree to be my pretend boyfriend.”
“It wasn’t so bad.”
“But not that good, either?”
Ryder met her gaze. Was she talking sex? Because she’d been there, knew sex between them had been beyond good.
She glanced down. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”
Let it go, he ordered himself, but couldn’t. “I’m curious. Why shouldn’t you have asked?”
She took a deep breath. “Because, in spite of everything that happened, you’re back to avoiding me.”
There was that. That she sounded hurt gutted him. He didn’t want to hurt her. Not ever.
“Things are complicated,” he admitted, searching for the right words and not sure it was possible to find them.
“If we hadn’t had sex, would you feel differently?”
Sex with McKenzie had been life-altering, but it wasn’t the sex he missed most. Yes, he wanted her, to kiss her and make love to her sweet body over and over.
But it was her smile, her wit, the way when her gaze met his he knew what she was thinking, the way when she laughed his insides filled with joy, that he missed most.
Which made him a fool. He’d have sworn he’d learned his lesson with Anna and would never let his emotions get caught in a rebound relationship again.
