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She knew how he felt about the boys, but he’d never told her he planned to adopt Kyle. She’d already said she didn’t want marriage and children. He could live without marriage so long as they were committed to each other. But no children...
His heart ached at the thought.
No children wasn’t a possibility for him. His whole life he’d planned to have kids—to adopt, to foster. Soon, hopefully, he’d be a father.
It was something that scared him, but it was a challenge he’d gladly face. He had a lot to learn, but if Kyle’s mother signed the papers and the courts granted him custody Justin would do right by the kid. He’d love him and raise him to the best of his abilities. Just as his parents had adopted, loved, and raised him.
Which meant putting Kyle first—above his own needs.
But where did that leave his relationship with Riley? She didn’t want children, but did that mean she wouldn’t want him to have them either?
If not, did that mean it was time to let go?
If so, how exactly did he do that, when letting go was the last thing he wanted?
CHAPTER TEN
“WHAT ARE MY odds of success?”
Justin clenched his cellphone in his sweaty hand, waiting anxiously for his lawyer’s response. He’d snuck away from the group as soon as he could to call Mary back.
On her way to prison, Kyle’s mother had signed away her rights rather than leave the boy dangling in court custody indefinitely. Kyle was adoptable. Mary had already drawn up the papers and had them ready to go, so they could move quickly to make Kyle his.
Justin had always planned to adopt one of the Wilderness Group, to make one of the boys his permanently. Kyle had always reached out to him more than the others, had always seemed a bit different. That he would be Justin’s seemed like fate.
“You have a great shot. Not as good as if you were married and bringing a two-parent household to the table,” his lawyer warned him. “But as you’ve been involved in Kyle’s life for several years and are financially solvent, and you have letters of recommendation from Kyle’s current foster parents, and you’re an upstanding member of society, the judge should grant your petition.”
“When will we know something for sure?”
“Kyle’s mother just signed the papers yesterday. These things don’t always move quickly.”
After as long as he’d been involved with the boys, Justin knew she was right—but he wanted answers. Wanted to know whether or not to tell Riley that Kyle’s mother had signed her rights away and he planned to adopt him.
She’d told him she didn’t want kids. If he adopted Kyle did that mean she’d not want to continue their relationship?
But she adored Kyle. He couldn’t imagine her walking away. He didn’t want to imagine her doing so.
“I’ll call when I know more, but I thought you’d want to know she signed the papers and I filed your petition late yesterday afternoon. I didn’t have a chance to update you then. We’ll have more answers soon.”
“Thanks.”
“Good luck, Justin. I know how much this means to you.”
Yeah, adopting had been his goal even before becoming an orthopedic surgeon had.
Justin hung up the phone, thought about pulling Riley aside now, because he’d really like to tell her everything, to share all the things he was feeling, all the what ifs, but thought better of it.
Maybe he would have, had they not just had the discussion they’d had, but not now. He was going to have a difficult enough time pretending that everything was fine for the rest of the afternoon without Riley also pretending. Not that he didn’t want to shout to the world that Kyle might be his soon, but he didn’t want to get Kyle’s hopes up in case the judge decided against him.
If the adoption went through, his life would undergo major changes. Changes such as him needing to find a house with a yard for Kyle to play in, needing to make sure that wherever he moved was zoned for a good school system, making sure that when he signed on to be the boy’s father he took that commitment seriously and put Kyle first.
Yeah, between Riley’s declaration and his lawyer’s call, Justin’s focus would be shot for the rest of the afternoon. Good thing all they had left to do was the Flight Adventure and simulator. After that, the boys should all have rides home and he’d go and run to clear his head—because everything was a jumbled-up mess.
Or maybe it was just where Riley was concerned that he’d made a mess of things...by wanting what she’d said from the beginning that she didn’t.
* * *
Riley pasted on a smile when Justin rejoined their group. They’d been having such a lovely time that she hated how things had gone downhill—hated even more how nervous she felt when she glanced toward him now.
