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CHAPTER ONE
ROSS LANE HAD messed up big-time.
Every time his gaze settled on the petite blonde nurse in Bay Two the message reverberated louder and louder through his skull, pounding like the worst of headaches.
Idiot.
Fool.
Stupid.
Oh, yeah, he’d messed up big time five years ago.
Lately, not a day went by that he didn’t wonder what his life would be like had he stuck around and been the man Brielle Winton had wanted him to be.
Funny how time changed one’s perspective, one’s priorities.
He leaned back against the emergency room nurses’ station, pretending to read the hospital newsletter someone had handed him moments before. In actuality, he soaked in every detail of the woman he had never been able to forget.
Beautiful as ever, she smiled at the elderly gentleman she was hooking to telemetry. Dimples dotted the corners of her lush mouth, tugging at past memories and something deep in his chest. She went about her job efficiently, smiling often, speaking in a soft, soothing tone, completely unaware that he couldn’t drag his gaze from her, that tension crackled from his every pore.
She was so close.
Yet never had she felt so far away.
How could he have walked away and broken her heart?
How could he have believed that out of sight would mean out of mind?
How could he have believed she would forgive him if he showed up out of the blue five years down the road from when they’d once been inseparable and he’d stupidly thrown away what they’d shared?
She looked up, her brown gaze meeting his with an intensity that jackhammered the pounding in his head.
Her friendly smile morphed into an agitated scowl. Shooting a quick glare that told him exactly where she wanted him to go, she turned her attention back to the frail gentleman lying on the emergency room hospital bed. Her expression was immediately pleasant for her patient’s benefit, her smile so potent he was shocked the man’s heart monitor didn’t go haywire.
Brielle had no smiles for him.
Not a single one.
She barely spoke to him and never when it wasn’t patient related.
He didn’t blame her. He couldn’t. Not when almost everything that had gone wrong in their relationship had been his fault.
Almost everything, but not all.
They’d both made mistakes. His had just been bigger.
Much bigger.
Huge.
Super-sized.
Pulsating pain stabbed his temple, making him wince.
Letting Brielle go really was his biggest regret. The one thing he couldn’t get over no matter how many successes he achieved, no matter how much time passed. When he closed his eyes, she was who filled his mind, who he longed to wrap his arms around and hold close, who he wanted to share those successes with.
Five years had passed since he’d touched Brielle, but he hadn’t forgotten one thing. Not the sound of her laughter or the feel of her hand clasped within his. Not the way she looked upon first waking or the way that no matter how tired she’d been she’d always had a special smile just for him.
If he’d been haunted before, his memories had escalated to torment when he’d bumped into her older brother at a medical convention. He’d known within minutes of seeing Vann that he would go to Brielle. He’d had to know if his memory played tricks on him, making the recollection of her more than the reality had ever been.
Although he had brought her up a couple of times during conversations, his former friend had barely commented on his sister, had managed to change the
subject each and every time Ross had mentioned her.
Actually, Vann hadn’t said much of anything about Brielle since the night he’d broken Ross’s nose. That night Vann had said plenty. Lots. Mostly about how Ross had better never set foot near his sister again or he would do more than bloody his nose.
Ross hadn’t fought back. He’d taken Vann’s punch, figured he deserved the pain, and he’d walked away from his best friend and the woman he’d been crazy about.
The one woman who had enough of a hold over him that once he’d learned where she was living—had Vann let that slip intentionally or on purpose?—he’d taken leave from his thriving family practice to accept a temporary emergency room position just to be near her, to work side by side with her as they once had. For the next three months he’d cover for the emergency room physician who was on maternity leave.
Then what?
Would three months be enough to finish whatever unresolved business existed between Brielle and himself?
Would three months be enough for him to know if all those years ago she had stolen his heart and he’d been too blind to realize it? Too young and stupid to know what he was losing? Or was guilt over what he’d done to her the culprit for why she haunted his dreams? Why his mind couldn’t let her go?
Either way, he had to know.
He’d reached a point where he was ready to find someone to share his life with, to settle down, marry, have a few kids, and experience all the craziness that went along with being married with children.
Back in Boston, he’d been dating a beautiful, talented hospitalist, had even considered asking Gwen to marry him, but hadn’t been able to bring himself to do so. Something kept holding him back.
Or someone.
