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She cared for him. He saw it in her eyes, but this was all new to her, and she was enamored with the sexual bliss they gave each other.
“Don’t say you aren’t acting weird, because you have no clue what I just asked you,” she interrupted his thoughts.
“You asked why I was acting weird,” he countered, feeling a little off kilter inside.
“Yeah, three questions ago.” She gave a little shake of her head. “This is your family, Jude. Your amazing, wonderful family who are glad you are here, who want to talk to you and spend time with you. Smile.”
“If you like them so much, you can have them.”
“I wish.” Realizing what she’d said, Sarah turned a bright shade of red. “That could be taken in all kinds of wrong ways, so let me clarify that I just meant I wish I had a big loving family like yours. Not that I was implying I specifically wanted your family to be mine.”
Well, as long as they were straight on that.
“They’re not all they’re cracked up to be,” he assured her, taking a long drink from his glass.
“At least they’re family and they love you.”
Not wanting to talk about his family anymore and knowing he was digging a hole he didn’t want to be in, Jude changed the direction of their conversation. “Do you not have family, Sarah? Is that what this is about?”
Her face a little pale, she shrugged. “My mother lives in Queens.”
She’d mentioned her mother a few times, briefly, but no one else.
“What about the rest of your family?”
“There is no rest of my family,” she told him, toying with the diamond earrings he’d given her on the night he’d taken her to the Broadway show. Why had he done that? He’d not bought jewelry for a woman ever.
“My mother ran off with her boyfriend when she was sixteen and lost all contact with her parents. If they are still alive, I’ve no clue. Apparently, she contacted them a few times early on, but they’d written her off as dead and refused to let her back into their lives. When she told them she had a baby, they wanted nothing to do with me, telling her she’d made her bed and to lie in it. Over the years, she worked about every kind of job there is, usually waitressing. Until she got involved with some loser again, that is, and then we’d end up in a homeless shelter or at one of her coworkers’ homes until she could save up enough to get us back off the streets again.”
He’d gotten the i
mpression she’d come from humble beginnings, but he hadn’t realized the scope of Sarah’s childhood, of what she’d had to overcome to achieve those academic scholarships she’d mentioned.
“She lives in a group home for abused women. I used to offer to let her live with me, but she never would. She leaves the home from time to time, but always goes back. This last time, she took a job at the shelter. It suits her. She feels safe there with other women who hate men.”
A bit stunned she’d revealed so much in the midst of a party, Jude stared. Yet again, this woman amazed him. He wanted to take her into his arms, protect her from the world, and tell her how proud he was, but she was as bristly now as he’d been minutes before.
“So, yeah, your big, loud, but loving family looks pretty good to me because it’s something I’ve never had and grew up dreaming of.” Every word dripped disapproval of his behavior.
“I’m sorry,” he said, and meant.
“Don’t be. Just appreciate what you have, because I don’t believe you do.”
“I like my family.”
She looked him straight in the eyes and asked a question that told him she saw further beneath the surface than any other person ever had. “Just not Charles?”
The question, the answer, gutted him.
“I don’t want to talk about Charles.”
Because seeing Charles reminded Jude of how quickly everything could change, of how he had so much guilt over everything that had happened after he’d lost Nina to his cousin.
Sarah’s lips pursed with disappointment. In him. He didn’t like it.
“Like I’ve said before,” she continued, not backing away from the subject despite his desire that she would, “Charles is an excellent man, an excellent boss and doctor. He’s a fabulous father and just look at how he is with Grace.” She cast a longing glance toward the couple. “I’ve met few better men in my life and none I admire more, especially at the moment.”
Which was a direct dig at him. Jude bristled.
