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No hospital would give up a talented pediatric neurosurgeon just because a nurse, no matter how good she was, used to be married to him.
“Please.”
Her gaze lifted to his and his sincerity surprised her. He didn’t need her approval. They both knew it. So why did it matter? Why was he saying please? She didn’t want to think he’d changed. She needed to keep him categorized in the “bad guy” box.
“None of this matters. What I think, what I want, doesn’t matter,” she reminded him. “You want this position, it’s already yours. Just because I was here, loving my job and my life without you in it, doesn’t matter to you. Nothing does except you getting what you want.”
“This isn’t just about me getting what I want. It’s about doing the right thing, about what’s best for all involved.”
“Me coexisting with you is what’s best for all involved?”
“You know it is.”
She knew no such thing. Just being in his arms was driving her crazy, the feel of him, the smell of him, the sound of his voice. Okay, so her mind and body had gone a little mushy, but that was nostalgia, right? He’d been her first lover, her husband, her fantasy. Once upon a time, he’d been the center of her world and she’d have done anything to make him happy.
Her body had had a momentary lapse in memory, had responded to his spicy male scent, the feel of him against her, and, yes, she’d melted a little. A lot. But that was just old chemistry rising to the surface.
All she felt for him now was loathing.
Liar.
She squeezed her eyes shut and took another deep breath before meeting his gaze again with steely resolve. “This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous.”
“Your heart is racing against mine, Emily.”
He was right. Her heart was racing and was next to his, but what that had to do with anything, she wasn’t sure. When had they moved so close that her body fully pressed against his as they swayed to the sultry beat? But she wasn’t alone in being affected by the other one’s presence. His heart was racing, too.
“Hearts race for a lot of reasons. Fear being one of them.” Was that why his raced? She couldn’t imagine Lucas ever being afraid of anything.
“Fear?” He looked taken aback. “I never gave you a reason to be afraid of me. Never.”
He meant he’d never hit her or physically abused her in any way. He hadn’t. The ways Lucas had hurt hadn’t left visible scars, just jagged ones on the inside.
“Not any reason that could be physically seen.” Emotionally, he’d beaten her to a pulp. She needed to remember that, to focus on how getting involved with him had devastated her whole world. She couldn’t coexist with him. Not without severe consequences.
“You weren’t the only one hurt by our marriage falling apart.”
His words stung. He’d been hurt, too? Somehow she couldn’t bring herself to believe him. He’d lost interest in her, in their marriage, long before the night he’d told her to leave.
How could he have hurt by losing something he’d no longer wanted? By losing something he’d not even known about because he hadn’t wanted to know?
Hadn’t wanted, period. Had accused her of depression when in reality she’d been... No. She wasn’t going there. She wasn’t.
She glanced around the dance floor. No one was paying much attention to them. No one except Meghan, who gave her a thumbs-up when their gazes met.
Oh, Meghan, if you only knew.
She resumed scanning the crowd. Her gaze connected to Richard’s again. She was going to have to do some explaining when she returned to the table.
Resentment built up in her and threatened to spill free.
“If you hurt, too, then why are you here opening up old wounds, Lucas? I’ve healed, am happy and could do without the twisted walk down memory lane.”
She felt more than heard him swallow.
“I told you why I’m here.”
“You and I will never be friends, Lucas. Leave me alone.”
