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She couldn’t. To want that would be begging for heartache and tears.
Only...
Meghan let the implications sink in. “Did he know you worked at Children’s when he accepted the position?”
“He knew. He said my being there was his only hesitation with accepting.”
Meghan’s forehead wrinkled. “I don’t understand. Why would he buy your date at the auction if you were what made him hesitate on accepting the position?”
“Because he’s here to torture me.” Okay, so that was an exaggeration, but being near Lucas, kissing him, having sex with him, all of it was torture because she knew it was temporary.
Meghan’s brow arched. “Seriously?”
Emily took another sip of her soda. “Actually, I don’t really understand why he bought my date. He says he wants for us to get along and not be awkward at work, but he didn’t have to win my bid if that’s what he wanted. I’ve never been able to resist him long.”
“Maybe he didn’t think you’d ever let him close enough without the forced time together.”
“Maybe. Regardless, he’s close enough now. Too close.” What had she done? “Meghan, what am I going to do when we quit having sex?” Quit having sex because, really, she couldn’t call it dating. They’d gone out to eat at Stluka’s, she’d cooked for him, and they’d had sex twice. That didn’t exactly qualify as boyfriend/girlfriend. She didn’t want Lucas to be her boyfriend. She’d been there, done that and had the divorce papers to prove it. “The last time he and I got involved, I ended up leaving my job. I love my job at Children’s. I’d prefer not to change jobs every time he shows up in my life.”
Meghan shrugged. “Then don’t change jobs.”
If only it were that simple.
“You don’t understand what it was like after we split and I had to go to work knowing I’d see glimpses of him there...” Her voice trailed off. She’d dreaded each and every day. Had wondered how he could see her and not know the great loss within her. The grief and suffering she felt every moment of every day and seeing him going on about his life had only added to her pain and loss. She’d quickly known she couldn’t continue working there and had turned in her notice. Starting work at Children’s had been a godsend.
“I knew you had been married before, but you never wanted to talk about it, so I never asked.” Meghan winced, then took a sip of her drink. “I remember how sad you looked when you first started. The first time I ever saw you, I wanted to hug you and beat the crap out of whoever had hurt you.”
“Our friendship was formed on pity?”
Meghan shook her head. “Our friendship was formed based upon the person you are being someone I came to love. You’re a great friend, Emily.”
“Even though I never told you about Lucas?”
“I wish you’d felt you could tell me, but I understand why you didn’t, why you wouldn’t want to talk about him at all. He hurt you a lot, didn’t he?”
Lucas had hurt her a lot, but what had come later had hurt so much more. Still hurt so much. One never got over that kind of hurt, she supposed.
“I guess in some ways we hurt each other.”
“Are you sure getting involved with him again is a good idea? I mean, he’s superhot and all, but aren’t you afraid you’ll end up getting hurt again?” Meghan reached
across the bar table and touched Emily’s hand. “Maybe we should leave before he gets here. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
She shook her head. “I’m not going to let him hurt me again.”
Her friend didn’t look convinced. “How are you going to stop him?”
Emily lifted her chin a notch. “Because this time I’m the one in control. I’m the one telling him to leave instead of the other way around.”
Meghan blinked. “He told you to leave?”
Unable to give voice to that particular memory, Emily nodded.
Meghan stared at her as if she’d lost her mind.
Possibly, she had. But when her gaze collided with that of the man who was making his way toward their table, she admitted that rational thought didn’t matter because she wanted him too much to stop this craziness.
From the moment he’d bought her bachelorette date, her fate had been sealed. Maybe from the moment she’d first met him, her fate had been sealed. Lord knew that even though she’d convinced herself she could be happy and content with a man like Richard, deep down she wondered if she would have been. Would anyone other than the man intently making his way toward her table do?
