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It was a conversation they had each time Blair and Addy visited.
“I know.” Blair gave his hand an emotional squeeze. “Good thing I’ll have you around to help me fight off the boys.”
Dr Talbot’s pale blue eyes lowered. “Not so sure about that, girl.”
“Has something changed?” Panic seized Blair. “What is the oncologist saying? Have you talked to the Mayo Clinic again? Are you a candidate for the experimental chemotherapy?”
“My oncologist is saying the chemotherapy has done all it’s going to. The metastatic lesions on my liver and pancreas aren’t shrinking. My blood counts are too low.” Dr Talbot’s hand tightened around Blair’s, trembling slightly. “There’s nothing more that can be done.”
Unacceptable. She wouldn’t let him die. Not if there was any possibility of treating his cancer.
“But the Xabartan is still an option?” Although U.S. trials were limited, the experimental drug was showing great success in China. Side effects were horrendous, but when one had nothing to lose, bad side effects didn’t seem so daunting. “You’ll do the treatments if you’re approved as a candidate?”
She’d talk to Oz again, beg him to use his connections in Rochester to get Dr Talbot approved for treatment.
Dr Talbot gave a tired sigh. “I’ve done chemo, Blair. Radiation and surgery, too. The cancer is still growing. I’ve lost my hair, my dignity.” He hadn’t taken well to the colostomy bag after his descending colon had been resected. “Enough is enough.”
She waved her hand in front of his face. “Hello. Where is the man who was going to fight this to the end? You can’t quit now.”
“Do I really want my last days to be spent battling not only my cancer, but the ill effects of a medicine that’s going to make me sicker?” He gave a weary sigh. “I want to die at home, Blair. In the comfort of my own home.”
This was not her Dr Talbot speaking. He was a fighte
r. To the end. He had to be. She needed him to be.
Tears trickled down her cheeks. “I’m not ready to lose you from my and Addy’s lives.”
At Blair’s anguished cry, he squeezed her hand again. “There’s no need for tears, Blair. I had a good life and have no regrets. Selma’s been gone a long time. Maybe it’s time for me to join her.”
Blair refused to believe that. Dr Talbot had a lot of life left to live. Had a lot of lives left to save. Had a lot of love left to receive.
Hers. Addy’s. Stephanie’s. Oz’s. They all loved him.
“What does Dr Manning say about this new attitude of yours?” Blair sucked in a deep breath, steadied her frayed nerves and put on a brave face. She had to be strong. She was strong. She’d always had to be.
“Oz will support whatever I decide,” Dr Talbot surprised Blair by saying. “I deserve to die in peace, in the comfort of my home rather than an out-of-state hospital if that’s what I choose. It’s what I gave Selma.” Dr Talbot had practically bankrupted himself providing expensive private medical care twenty-four hours a day for his wife so she could stay at home, could die at home as she’d wished. “It’s what I want, too.”
“Oz is agreeable to you not pursuing every avenue?” She didn’t believe it. Why would Oz not want Dr Talbot to try everything? “Why is he helping put the benefit together to raise money to help cover the cost of your treatments?”
“Because I won’t take money from him.” Dr Talbot sounded tired. “He’s making the choice mine.”
“Oz offered to pay for your treatments?” She’d wondered. Dr Talbot had once said Oz’s family was old money, but she wasn’t sure if that equated into Oz having part of that wealth. Apparently so. Handsome, a skilled surgeon, compassionate toward his friend, great with kids and rich to boot. Did the man have any flaws?
Oh, yeah, he did. He was a womanizing playboy. She needed to remember that. Just because there was a hiatus while he was taking care of Dr Talbot didn’t mean he’d really changed.
“He’s repeatedly offered, just as he did during Selma’s illness, but I won’t take handouts from the boy. He has better things to spend his money on than a lost cause.” Dr Talbot’s pale blue eyes bored into her, asking a thousand questions Blair didn’t know the answers to, but likely wouldn’t have answered even if she had.
“You are anything but a lost cause.”
She couldn’t bear the thought of losing him. Nor could she allow herself to give in to the sorrow plaguing her soul. Be strong. Be brave.
“Enough of this depressing subject.” She pasted a smile onto her face. “Tell me about our favorite soap opera. Did Barbara discover that Nathanial is really still alive?”
Since his illness, Dr Talbot had spent a lot of time watching television simply because he’d been too sick to do anything more. Blair and Reesee had been fans of Dare to Love since they’d watched the show with their mother. Now Dr Talbot kept Blair up-to-date on the show’s happenings. Blair mostly asked because the show gave him something to look forward to each day.
But her friend’s pale eyes lit as he pinned her beneath his knowing gaze. “Why don’t you tell me about your real-life soap opera instead?”
CHAPTER FIVE
