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“Fine.” Adam nodded and continued the tedious task of removing the entangled tumor from May while the other surgical teams worked simultaneously. He used sight to guide his way when the sensation in his fingers failed him. Thank God his vision wasn’t as blurred as it was at times.
An hour later, Adam surveyed his work. Not all of the tumor was gone, but the bulk of the mass had been removed, along with numerous branches. Unfortunately May’s right kidney and ureter had also been cut out as they hadn’t been able to save them. The tumor had been too embedded into the tissue.
Amazingly, the surgery was a success. The only thing left was finishing touches.
Touches he wasn’t able to do.
He couldn’t feel his left hand, his head hurt like hell, and he’d started squinting to sharpen his vision. To go further was a risk he couldn’t take.
He turned to the vascular surgeon. “You OK to finish up without me?”
Surprised, Dr Robards nodded and continued what he was doing. Adam stepped away.
His head spun and he swayed.
“Dr Cline?” the nurse said from right beside him. “Dr Cline, are you OK?”
No, Adam wasn’t.
He couldn’t see a damned thing out of his right eye.
From that eye, the world had gone black.
Having arranged for another physician to cover the ER for a few hours until he returned, Adam’s friend Larry drove him to the hospital in Jackson. Fortunately he didn’t ask too many questions. Without Adam having to say a thing, Larry knew.
Of course, it had been his friend who’d first diagnosed his MS. His friend who’d called the neurologist Adam had been seeing and begged him to see Adam that evening as a special favor.
Larry who’d asked if he should call Liz.
If anything, what had happened today proved that he’d done the right thing to push Liz away. What if his sight hadn’t returned? What if both eyes had gone blind and stayed that way? Sure, he would eventually have learned to cope, but Liz would have been stuck with the fallout. Stuck with a man who wasn’t the man she deserved.
He loved her too much to saddle her with that.
“The temporary blindness was from extreme fatigue, Adam. You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. I know Dr Winters told you there was no reason you couldn’t continue to work, but taking on a case on like May Probst’s was insane.”
“I have cut back on my hours,” Adam reminded. He’d cut his former workload by a third. His staff and colleagues all thought it had to do with his and Liz’s problems. Just as they must think his haggard appearance was related to his personal problems.
Oh, yeah, he’d cut back. Not that he’d had much rest. Instead, he’d d
ream of Liz, of the days when he’d been healthy, and he’d thought he’d grow old at her side.
“But you still pulled something stupid,” Larry continued. “You know better.”
Doing May’s surgery was stupid according to the hospital board, but letting a woman die without attempting desired treatment, well, that was downright cruel in Adam’s eyes. Particularly at the moment.
What he wouldn’t give for even a slim chance of something healing him, what he’d be willing to risk for that chance—everything.
“And now everyone knows something is wrong with me.” Adam sighed. He’d almost passed out in the OR. Had literally sat down on the OR floor. Which really had been stupid as he’d distracted everyone from May. Thank God she’d done well.
Perhaps part of him had been rebellious, fighting against diseases that robbed life. By taking on May’s case he’d somehow felt empowered, as if he had been striking out at his own body’s ailments.
“They’ll probably write it off as fatigue, stress over May’s surgery, or on your problems with Liz. Perhaps even blame it on a hypoglycemic reaction since you’d been in surgery so long.”
“Perhaps,” Adam agreed. He hated anyone thinking him incapable. Hated the thought that he’d been numb and blind for what had seemed like for ever but in actuality had only been a couple of minutes.
“If Dr Winters doesn’t put you on medical leave, I want you to take a few days off work, Adam. Get some rest.”
Rest. What a joke. “I’ll go crazy if I have to sit at home doing nothing.”
