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But she did hate that she hadn’t got to touch him one last time. That she hadn’t gotten to feel his lips against hers one last time as they shared a goodbye kiss. That there’d been no additional time
for talking, for asking him about what had happened to him.
But then she’d think of Joss and the panicky, got-to-escape, how-could-I-not-have-told-him? feelings would take over again and she’d heavy-foot the gas pedal. She’d gotten home in record time.
“There you go again,” Savannah accused, eyeing her from across the living room where she held her baby, nursing her. “Something happened this weekend.”
Chrissie looked at her friend with an obviously guilty expression because her friend’s eyes widened.
“Something did happen!” Savannah exclaimed, louder than she should have as Amelia stopped nursing and whimpered. Savannah quickly settled her daughter and whispered, “Tell me.”
Chrissie looked down at the sleeping little boy curled in her arms. Joss had been so excited when she’d gotten there, had given her a welcome home card he and his “Auntie” Savannah had made. Savannah had insisted they stay for dinner, during which her husband Charlie had been called into the hospital and had to leave. When they’d finished eating, while Savannah had recounted Joss’s adventures over the weekend, Joss had climbed into Chrissie’s lap and dozed off almost immediately. She hadn’t minded. She loved these moments of holding him close, of snuggling his little body, and feeling his heart next to hers.
Something she’d denied Trace from ever knowing by not telling him about his son. Guilt stung her eyes and she sniffled.
She was not going to cry. She wasn’t. No way.
“Tell me,” Savannah insisted a little louder when Chrissie still hesitated.
“I...” What did she say to Savannah? How did she begin to explain to her best friend that she’d had a repeat of the weekend that had given her Joss?
Well, hopefully, not a full repeat as they’d used protection every time, and surely odds wouldn’t be on her getting pregnant twice while protected?
Her head spun for a brief moment. The thought of being pregnant with Trace’s baby again didn’t repel the way it should have. Maybe it was because Joss was curled in her arms and she’d missed him so much. Maybe it was because Savannah was nursing Amelia and had never looked happier than she did these days.
Maybe it was something more.
“He was there,” she confessed.
“He?” Eyes wide, Savannah dropped her gaze to Joss. “The guy from before?”
Face on fire, Chrissie nodded.
“You had sex with him again!”
“Shh!” Chrissie winced and fought the urge to cover Joss’s ears. As irrational as it was, she didn’t want her son to hear this conversation. Not that he was aware of anything going on around him. He was out for the count.
“You slept with Joss’s dad?” Savannah stage-whispered.
Knowing she’d eventually tell Savannah everything, Chrissie nodded. She really needed to talk, to let out some of the strong emotions flowing through her. Maybe Savannah could make sense of them. Chrissie sure couldn’t.
“I did and it was great. Better than I remembered.”
Savannah smiled. “That’s wonderful.”
Chrissie could see the matchmaking wheels spinning in her best friend’s head.
“It was wonderful, but was is the key word. It was just a fling. Just like before.”
Savannah frowned. “What do you mean?”
“We agreed to have a no-strings-attached affair for the weekend and that’s what we had. End of story.”
“No, not end of story, because you have strings.”
“No, I don’t,” Chrissie denied. Yeah, she had feelings for Trace. How could she not, but those weren’t strings. They were...tiny threads of nothingness.
“Hello, you are holding the biggest string there is.”
