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“That’s where Mommy said you went.” Joss yawned, scooted up in the bed. “Can I go to Atlanta with you, too?”
Trace’s heart swelled to the point he thought it might explode. But then he recalled that he’d almost let this child, his son, die.
That he’d been the last person with Kerry before she’d gotten so sick and died.
That he was leaving and would be gone for months.
“I’d never take you away from your mommy, Joss. She would miss you.”
“We could bring her, too.” Another big yawn, then he settled back onto his pillow. “She’d like Atlanta.”
Trace wasn’t so sure about that.
“I’m sorry I got sick.”
“You couldn’t help getting sick, Joss. I know that.”
“You went away.”
His words gutted Trace. Was that what he had thought?
“Not because you’d been sick,” he assured. “Never that.”
Only, was that true? Or had memories of Kerry and guilt played into his having left?
“I’m better now,” Joss told him with heavy eyes. “Lots better.”
He started to respond, but realized Joss’s eyes had closed and he’d dozed back off. Quietly, Trace stood, turned to leave Joss’s room and noticed Chrissie, crying, in the doorway.
She waited until they were both back in the living room, then said, “I want you in his life, Trace. He wants you in his life. Whenever you’re home, between your assignments, whenever it’s safe for him and me to visit you, we want you in our lives.”
Heart pounding, he shook his head. “It’s too complicated.”
Staring at him from where she stood just in front of him, she frowned. “What’s too complicated? You and me?”
“I meant him. Me. Everything.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I shouldn’t have taken him away from here that day, or even attempted to watch him on my own. You were right. I’ve never been good at taking care of someone.”
She shook her head. “No, I was wrong. You should have been with him. You have just as much right to look after him as I do. Please forgive me for thinking otherwise. What happened wasn’t your fault.”
He shook his head. “Thank you for taking care of him, Chrissie.”
She sucked in a deep breath and stared up at him. “You’re leaving aren’t you?”
She made it sound as if that were something horrible. He knew better. “I can’t stay.”
“Please don’t go.”
“Because of what Joss said?”
She shook her head, then took a deep breath and stepped to him, put her hand on his cheek. “Because of you and me.”
“There is no ‘you and me,’” he reminded her. There wasn’t. Just two beautiful weekends that had been like fairy-tale blips in reality.
She flinched, then straightened her shoulders. “I don’t believe you, Trace. There’s been a ‘you and me’ from the moment I first met you four years ago and I thought you were the most attractive man I’d ever met. I wanted you then,” she admitted. She took a deep breath. “I want you now.”
