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“If you say so.”
“If I’d told Daniel I was pregnant, he’d have quit college and come home. He’d have given up everything that was important to him because that’s the kind of man he is, Ryan. He’d have done the right thing, even if it hadn’t been what he wanted. Leona knew that, and she’d always believed I was bad for him. My getting pregnant only confirmed her suspicions as far as she was concerned.
“When it came down to it, I wasn’t what he wanted. I broke things off, telling him I’d met someone else and didn’t want to wait for someone so far away. At first he looked angry and hurt, but then…” she inhaled “…he just looked relieved, and I knew Leona was right.”
“Relieved?”
“Maybe he’d met someone else in Boston. Or maybe he realized how difficult it was to maintain a relationship from a thousand miles away. Or maybe he just realized that we weren’t meant to be.” She picked up a throw cushion and toyed with the fringe. “I’m not sure. I just know things ended that Christmas.”
“He never knew about me?”
“Not until this week.”
“You told him about me?” Ryan looked incredulous.
“Yes.”
“What did he say?” The hopeful look in his eyes undid her.
“He’s upset, Ryan.”
“Upset?” He frowned. “What’s that mean?”
“It means he has a life of his own and finding out he fathered a child fifteen years ago caught him off guard.”
Ryan crossed his arms, flexing his young jaw. “He didn’t care, did he?”
Kimberly’s heart broke at the raw emotion on her son’s face. Ryan needed Daniel to care, wanted to know his father hadn’t rejected him. “He cared, Ryan. A great deal.”
“So where is he?” Ryan looked around as if he expected to see Daniel. “If he knows about me, and he cares so much, why isn’t he here?”
“He has a busy life in Boston, Ryan.” She didn’t know what else to say. She wouldn’t undermine Daniel. Yet she didn’t understand why he hadn’t made plans to meet Ryan. “There’s something else I need to tell you, just in case.”
Suspicion entered Ryan’s eyes. “What? Does he want a paternity test or something?”
“No.” Daniel had seemed to believe her when she’d told him about Ryan being his son, but she supposed asking for a paternity test wouldn’t have been unreasonable of Daniel. “He says he’s going to fight for custody.”
Ryan’s eyes widened with a mixture of relief and denial. “No way.”
Kimberly nodded. “He wants to
get to know you, and visiting you occasionally in Atlanta isn’t enough.”
“I won’t go.”
Kimberly nodded. “I wouldn’t let him take you, Ryan, not unless it was what you wanted, but, as your father, he does have rights. Our lives may change to accommodate his place in your life.”
“No, he doesn’t have any rights,” Ryan denied, shaking his head. “He’s not a part of our lives. I don’t even know him.”
“Which is my fault,” she admitted, hugging the pillow to her. “If I’d told Daniel about my pregnancy, you’d have grown up knowing your father.”
Ryan’s jaw took on a stubborn set and he took her hand in his again, squeezing it reassuringly. “I grew up just fine.”
Love for her son spread through her. She’d been so blessed by having Ryan in her life. A blessing Daniel hadn’t known.
“Yes, but you’ve missed out on things by not having your father around.” She and Ryan had survived just fine, but was fine good enough when Ryan could have had better? Should have had better? “By not having Daniel in your life because he’s innocent in all this, Ryan. I made the decision not to tell him about you and it’s my fault you grew up without knowing your father.” She sighed. “I should have told him the truth a long time ago.”
They sat on the sofa, holding hands and quietly thinking about what had been said.
