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“I don’t know.” James watched Melissa’s face distort in misery. Sweat trickled down her brow. He glanced at his watch. “Her contractions are coming a minute apart.”
“A minute apart?” the obstetrician exclaimed. “How long has she been in labor?”
“Her waters broke about five minutes ago, but her back’s been hurting all day.”
“She doesn’t have time to get to Nashville. Check her cervix and you make the call, but I think you should call an ambulance to take her to Dekalb.”
Watching Melissa’s hands fist into tight bundles, James feared Dr McGowan might be right.
“Check her and let me know.”
He snapped his cell phone shut. “I’ve got to check you.”
“No.” Her denial came out as a breathy moan. He hated seeing her in pain, wished he could ease her suffering. Even more, he’d hate to put her in the car and head to Nashville an hour away and have her deliver somewhere along the icy drive.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” he reminded her.
She shot him a look.
Maybe not the smoothest line he’d ever used.
“With your contractions so close, Dr McGowan wants to know how dilated you are. He thinks I need to call an ambulance to take you to Dekalb.”
Cheeks flushed, she closed her eyes. “Fine, but it’s not like I have a spare set of stirrups just lying around to hike my legs up in.”
“This will be fine.” He eyed the chair and stool. “I’m going to get a flashlight and some gloves.”
James gathered what he’d need to check Melissa and scrubbed his hands and forearms. Her smothered cry of pain warned that she was having another contraction. From the sounds she was making he’d guess her pain was intensifying.
Helplessness seized him. A helplessness he’d sworn he’d never feel again after Cailee’s death. What if the baby was breech? Melissa’s life would be in danger, would be in his hands. He swallowed the lump forming in his throat. What had Kristen called Melissa? His heart’s desire. She was, and so much more.
And he was responsible for her life and their baby’s life. He didn’t want to do it, but there was no choice.
“I’m coming,” he called, wanting her to know she wasn’t alone, that he’d stay by her side. Forever, if that’s what she wanted.
“I need to push.” She moaned, making him think he couldn’t possibly have heard right. “James, I need to push.”
“Push?” He rushed into the living room and dropped his supplies in a heap next to her chair. “You can’t push.”
“Don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” she growled, very un-Melissa-like. “My body says push.”
He helped her to her feet, winced at her whimper. With his assistance, she removed her wet maternity pants and underwear. Despite the urgency of the moment, he paused, staring at her rounded belly. Her creamy skin stretched tight over what could easily have been a lumpy basketball.
His knees threatened to buckle at the sheer beauty of her carrying his child. Would he be wrong if he dropped to the floor and praised her over and over for the precious gift she carried? A gift he couldn’t believe he’d once thought he wanted to live without experiencing because of a fear of Cailee’s memory, of a fear of love, of a fear of failure.
Just as he’d once thought he could live without Melissa.
Now he knew better. Not loving would be the biggest failure of his life. He’d take Melissa on any terms she’d have him. He’d find a way to help keep her grounded, focused on him and their child. Because these past few months, watching her, seeing her lovingly touch her belly, excitedly prepare the nursery, he knew she was going to be a good mother. To place their child’s needs above her own. Above those of her patients.
Her goodness and ability would balance out any fears on his part. He could live with coming in somewhere down the line. Just so long as he was still in the line.
She’d said she wished she’d married him when she’d
had the chance.
He wished he’d gotten down on his knees and begged her to be his wife, to share his life, for them to bring their baby into the world as a family, as one.
For that matter, he should have proposed the day they’d made love for the first time. He’d known even then that she completed him.
