AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I don’t,” I say, swallowing a lump in my throat. I need to go. Just standing here is killing me. “I guess we’ll find out.”
“KITS!” Sulli screams.
But I’m faster than the Olympian this one time, and I’ve exited the door before she reaches me. For security reasons, I’m positive Banks won’t let Sulli leave the room.
Even on the other side of the door, I hear her sobs.
I was happy, wasn’t I?
You were, Nine.
But this pain will end eventually. It has to.
One day, I’ll wake up and I’ll see Banks and Sulli happy. Married. With babies. Living a conventional life. And I will know I gave them that.
As I take every weighted, horrible step away from them, I try to believe this won’t kill me.
48
SULLIVAN MEADOWS
I thought the paparazzi outside the theatre would be the worst part of the night.
Wrong.
Totally fucking wrong.
This took the cake. I’m on my knees in the hotel room, and Banks is kneeling in front of me while I’m buckled over in his arms.
“It hurts…” I choke out, silent tears streaming. My agonized gaze hasn’t shifted off the ground.
Banks cups my wet cheek, lifting my face to his bloodshot eyes. “It’s gonna be okay.” Banks is good at holding on to hope, and I see him scavenging for those obliterated pieces.
I nod with him, but my throat swells. Pain surges back inside. “We should run after him,” I rasp. “Let’s go.”
Neither of us move.
Because we know.
We know.
Banks says the words aloud. “He doesn’t want us to.”
He’ll push us away. He’ll keep pushing us. He’s made up his mind, and until he sees this through, there is no stop in Akara.
I squeeze my eyes closed, then open them onto Banks. He’s distraught. Akara used his words carefully. He broke up with Banks too, not just with me.
Their friendship is done.
Weight crushes me. It’s crushing him. He could so easily follow Akara, repair their friendship. Abandon me.
I grab his bicep. His hand strengthens on my cheek, and between shortened breath and glassy eyes, I choke, “Don’t leave me.”
“I’m not. I’d never.” Banks holds up my head that heavies. My tears drip down his fingers, and he tells me powerfully, “I love you. Akara loves you, and it’s why he’s being a selfless dumbass.” His voice breaks.
I try to laugh, but I just cry against his hand. Fuck.
He brushes away my tears, our eyes diving to the raw center of each other. “I’m never leaving your side, as long as you’ll have me, and I’m not giving up on him—he’ll wake up eventually.”
His confidence and love for me and hope for Akara soothes the broken pieces inside me. He brings me closer to his chest. Holding me while I cry. After a few minutes, he picks me up and carries me to bed.
Eyes swollen, head spinning, I slip beneath the covers with Banks. Still in our clothes, he pulls me firmer to his chest, and I burrow my head into his warmth.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he whispers, his hope like a drug.
I take calmer breaths.
Akara was so resolute.
So sure.
That hurts more and more. That he believes this is going to salvage everything, when it feels like he’s burning it all to the ground.
“He broke up with us,” I mutter the words, thinking the truth might lessen the pain. But my heart clenches. Everything hurts like someone shoved me into concrete and I’m just sinking…sinking…sinking.
“Jokes on him,” Banks whispers. “He’s still my boss, so he’s gonna have to hear me tell him he’s wrong every fuckin’ day.”
I sniff hard. “I don’t know how you’ll be able to look at him and not cry.”
My eyes feel raw.
Banks squeezes me harder. “I’m not much of a crier. I shed most of my tears when I was kid.” He looks down at me as I pull back to see his dry, still bloodshot eyes.
I don’t think Banks needs to cry to have the face of someone who feels like sobbing. “I hate knowing he’s going to be miserable so we can try to be happy.” A piece is always going to be empty without Kits. How can we truly be happy without him?
“He’s just doing what he always does. Taking the fall for the people he loves.”
“I should’ve walked away first,” I mutter.
“I wouldn’t have. That was never gonna be me,” Banks admits, and I understand why. They’re two totally different guys, and they were never going to choose the same path in this scenario. In a lot of ways, I think the only reason Akara left is because he knows I have Banks.
But if the roles were reversed and Banks was gone, I’d be just as devastated. If I left them, I’d be just as heartbroken. Like I’ve known—like I told Akara—the only way this works is for the three of us to stay together.
