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I nod. “Yeah, way before our time on security. And you weren’t even born yet.”

“You know the worst one?” Banks says to me, rubbing streaks of flour off his face. “Disneyland.”

I groan into a bigger smile. “Don’t even start.”

“What?” Sulli is confused and excited to hear security’s secrets.

Banks explains, “The old guard who went on the Disneyland trip when you were a kid.”

“They never shut up about it,” I add. “At least the ones who haven’t retired.” There are only a handful left from that generation.

Sulli tries to shake out flour from her hair. “A lot of the time I forget you two are bodyguards and not just my boyfriends.”

Boyfriends. I stiffen.

She realizes her slip with flushed cheeks. “I mean, boyfriend for Banks but friend for Akara or…whatever the fuck we are…” She reddens more. “Cumbuckets.”

Cumbuckets. I missed that.

“It’s okay, Sul,” I tell her softly.

Banks looks cautiously between us.

Maybe I shouldn’t be here, but Banks is still waiting on the phone call…and no part of me wants to walk away.

Sulli tries to rewind the conversation. “I hate that people who love Jane are now trying to assault her husband. It’s fucked up.”

I jump up on the counter, sitting. “Yeah, that’s an issue.”

Thatcher Moretti.

I still care about my friend; I’ll always care—even if he’s been pushing me away and we haven’t sewed what ripped. For the longest time, it’s been me and Thatcher trying to make tough calls. Trying to figure crap out behind-the-scenes and clinking beers after a hard night, leaning on each other when no one else understands the core of the job—and now he’s a target for hate.

“Thatcher will be alright,” Banks says. “He can take flour to the face as well as I can. It’s nothing.”

I give him a hard look. “I love you, Banks, but you two need to stop flexing. Just because you can take a hit doesn’t mean you should.”

His mouth curves up. “You love me, Akara?”

Son of a mother trucker.

I lick my dried lips. You know I do.

He slips a toothpick between his teeth with a shadow of a smile. He sees right through my silence.

Sulli begins to smile.

Shoot.

I grip the edge of the counter, not jumping down yet. But I remind them, “I’m leaving once the doctor calls.”

That sobers the room.

Smiles vanish.

We go back to dealing with the flour. Banks squeezes dirty water out of the washcloth into the sink. I run a hand through my hair, flour kicking up. I’m covered. It’ll take more than a sponge-bath to get clean.

Sulli struggles with her hair. “Fuck, it’s everywhere.”

Help her, Nine.

Before Banks or I can even think of moving, Sulli dashes to the large glass shower, surrounded by two oversized elephant ear plants. Vibrant. Green. Tropical rain forest vibes are sky-high and totally Sulli.

After she turns on the faucet, water hits the black slate and spills into the drain.

She hasn’t stepped in yet.

Sulli faces us and pulls off her long-sleeve shirt.

Dang. She’s braless.

Shoot.

Fuck.

I divert my gaze to the ground. Too late. Her nipples are perked. Yeah, I saw her tits. My muscles flex more.

“I’m getting in,” she says. “If you guys want to join, you can.”

Guys.

Plural.

Me and him.

I drill my gaze fiercer at the floor. Hearing the unzip of her pants. Seeing her panties fall on top of her shirt.

Hearing the water splash. Sulli must step inside the shower.

“Akara,” Banks whispers.

I look up.

He’s right in front of me. Brown eyes on mine. Concern pumping from him to me. “You gonna keep beating yourself up and down?” he asks. “Or are you gonna get in?”

I careen my head back, conflicted. I have to protect her. But Sulli has already contested the defense I want to say out loud.

She’s telling me not to guard the castle. To just leave the fortress and follow her and him out.

Banks steps closer, to shut off the sink faucet he left on. Our knees knock together for a second.

I’ve thought about attraction. Whether I’m attracted to Banks like I am to Sulli. I guess I just keep coming back to one question: Is it possible to be in love with someone and not be sexually attracted to them?

Our legs brush again as he shifts away, and we both glance back at the shower at the same time. Sullivan Meadows is already naked beneath the cascading water. As she wipes steam off the shower door, she watches our interaction.

And then she blows a raspberry on the glass.

I burst into laughter with Banks.

Adorable doesn’t even cut it.

Banks and I are smiling, and he’s quick to shed his shirt, pants, boxer-briefs. One last glance to me, he says, “Stay or leave, it’s up to you.” Then he runs after Sulli and climbs into the shower. They rinse off under the hot water together. Fog starts to coat the glass.

Everything inside me is calling and beckoning me to just go. To her. With her.

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