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I feign slugging his shoulder for cursing.
He doesn’t even flinch.
So I pat his back. “Survived this time.”
“Every time,” Akara says like a promise.
“Amen.”
I can only hope.
He checks his phone, scrolling, and the strange, constipated look on his face goads me to ask, “What are you looking at?”
“Don’t worry about it,” he says too fast, pocketing his cell.
“Christ Almighty, I used to love that phrase,” I say, rocking forward on my feet towards him, “don’t worry about it, Banks. I’ve got it, Banks. Now it’s as ugly and grating as the face you just made two seconds ago.”
He glares.
“Give me your phone.”
“No,” he scoffs. “This isn’t a negoti—Banks.” He cuts himself off and raises the phone above his head after I try to steal the thing. “I love you, but you accidentally break my phone, you die.”
“You are way too attached. It’s like a fuckin’ parasite. Clinging to you with its 1s and 0s. Where’s the fucking scalpel?”
“Banks.”
“If Sulli were here, she’d try to cut if off you first.”
“Well, she’s not here.” He expels a sharper breath, then rolls his eyes. “Fine.” Something I said does the trick. Not sure what it was, but he lowers his arm and shows me his phone. “I was doing a quick social media check.”
Twitter, I see.
“Those are your notifications?” I ask what I’m staring at.
“Yep.” His jaw tenses.
I skim the tweets about him…and her. And they read like this:
Sulli & her bodyguard are THE PERFECT match imo! Total stan here.
Kitsulli 4Ever!
Omg can you imagine how beautiful Akara & Sulli’s babies would be? Puh-lease let it happen!!
There’s no way Sulli and her bodyguard aren’t dating. The chemistry is off the charts. So obvious.
Akara isn’t fooling anyone. He’s definitely into our Sullivan Meadows.
And on and on and on.
The public praise is hardly newsworthy. They’ve been rumored to be a pairing for a while, even before our trip to Yellowstone.
I push his phone back to his chest, and we scan our surroundings, then move.
Humor has already drained fast as we stop in the middle of the hallway, right next to a set of double doors that leads to the pool room.
Something serious lingers between us. Something raw.
Very quietly, he says, “I don’t want you to ever feel second-best to me when it comes to her.” They have history together.
They have pre-existing love.
It doesn’t hurt to know or see. And I’m not living in fear that it will.
I drop my voice another octave. “Sulli has never made me feel like that.” Not for one damn second, not for one fucking moment. She has only ever made me feel irreplaceable, invaluable, worthy. And I’m not seeking a first-place prize or a trophy.
I live for the beat of my heart, and it beats at a wild, unafraid, unfathomable pace around her.
Akara worries though. “Other people could make you feel lesser than.”
He worries for the same reason my brother does. He knows I’m constantly compared to another human being as a twin. And I’m the dispensable one, and by God, I’ve already proven that fuckbag of a father wrong.
My life isn’t a waste.
“If anything,” I tell my best friend, “being compared to Thatcher for twenty-nine years has me prepared as hell for the day the world compares me to you.” I smack his chest. “And the only people who matter to me are her and you, man. The rest can rank me at bottom two.”
I don’t even mind being called a zero.
To Sulli, I’m more.
To Akara, I’m more.
To my family, I’m more.
To myself, I’m everything. Hell, I’m all I have when I’m alone. I better be happy with who I am.
Akara nods strongly.
We wield a love for one another that has no words. Just a feeling. He wouldn’t be so pressed about what other people are gonna think of me if he didn’t care.
He squeezes my shoulder as he pushes open the double doors. The smell of chlorine hits me all at once. Eight swimming lanes are roped off in the pool. Half are filled as students practice.
To Akara, I whisper, “If you go on a date, you should put me on someone else’s security detail for the night. It’ll take some stress off you and actually let you enjoy the night for a change. Hell, maybe you’ll be able to make it through the date without getting a phone call.”
His lip quirks. “Unlikely.”
It’s partly my fault that my dad has been speed-dialing Akara. Couple days ago, Akara officially put me on Sulli’s permanent detail with him.
I’m no longer a floater.
No longer the man rushing to Maximoff’s detail, if Farrow receives a med call.
Change keeps me on my toes where I like to be.
This change I love even more.
Farrow’s sour over the transfer, and I can’t blame him when I was his best substitute every time he was pulled away from his husband’s detail.
