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He does love me.
But I follow where she’s going. “So you think Banks is the lust?” It hurts even thinking. I grip harder onto the rough rope.
She adjusts her hands on the rope too. “How do you know it’s not just a physical connection?”
The words tumble out of me. “Because when I picture losing Banks, I feel like I’m suffocating, Nona. I love him, and I need him as much as I’ve ever fucking needed Kits.”
Banks reached a part of me that was dying to be held, and I know Winona thinks it’s a sexual part—but it’s not.
He uplifts my womanhood, my independence, my strength, my soul, and Akara uplifts my drive, my playfulness, my fervor, my spirit.
I love them both for different reasons because they’re different beautiful people, but I need and love them all the fucking same.
My spirit and my soul.
Her face downturns. “Does this mean you like Akara less than you did—”
“No,” I say strongly.
“But you’re sharing him with someone else. How can you love two guys totally, completely, the same way?”
I shake my head, the light going left and right over her delicate features. “Nothing is cut in half, Nona. The love I have for them isn’t split apart and shared. They both have all of me, and I have all of them.” My eyes burn, hoping she understands, please. “We’d feel less if we went from three to two. We all have more together. So we’re staying fucking together.” With another breath, I tell her, “They want to be in a poly relationship over a monogamous one, like I do. They have a friendship that extends far fucking beyond me.”
Winona lifts up her feet. I’m the only one keeping us grounded.
“Say something, Nona,” I breathe.
Her lip lifts. “I’m trying to get it. I’m going to get it a lot better than some people, and you need more allies. You’re my sister; I’ll always have your back in our wolf pack.” She leans forward to press our foreheads together. “What you’re doing is ballsy AF, and if anyone messes with you, they have to go through me.”
“Hey, I’m the big sister. That’s my line.”
She smiles. “I love you a waffle-lot, Sulli-Bear.”
“I love you a waffle-lot more, Nona-Frog.”
And with the biggest breath all night, I lift up my legs. We start to spin wildly as the rope untwists, the light of our headlamps whipping in circles as our bodies rotate and rotate and rotate.
Winona smiles. We laugh, and she says, “You have a heart-on for them.”
“An affection-erection,” I grin.
We lean back and howl up at the moon, and I should know not to delight in moments this too-good-to-be-true. Because all of a sudden, we hear the crunch of leaves.
Our feet drop, stabilizing us.
We go quiet.
My pulse thumps, and I consider calling out for Akara and Banks. It could just be an animal. Definitely not a cougar. A bobcat is more likely.
I strain my ears and hear…snickering. Human snickering.
Winona looks enraged. “Those douchebros.” She springs from the tire swing and chases after figures in the dark.
“NONA!” I yell, jumping off the tire. Hot on her trail.
I’m older.
Faster.
And what I’ve learned in point-two seconds is that I’m still not as rash and heedless as my little sister, who’d chase after creepy fucking laughter in the woods.
“Nona, stop!”
“They’re the neighborhood douchebros, Sulli!” Twigs catch our hair as we run deeper and deeper. “They live two streets over, and they’ve been tormenting my babes at school! COME OUT, YOU COWARDS!”
“Nona! Fuck.” We roll to a sudden stop as our headlamps illuminate three teenagers. They wear navy-blue Dalton swim team sweatshirts, and it fucking sucks to know there are assholes on Dalton Academy’s swim team. What Moffy must’ve gone through, since I bailed on the normal high school experience.
They grin.
From behind my sister, I wrap my arms around Nona, keeping her from lunging at them. “Let’s go, Nona.”
“Yeah, go, Nona.” The tallest mimics me in a high-pitched voice.
“Fuck you,” I spit out.
“Look, she’s bleeding out of her cooch.” They cackle loudly, and I glance down, the blood visible from the front now.
Fucking awesome.
“Grow up,” Winona growls. “Some women have menstrual cycles. We bleed. What do you do? Jack off and cry over a paper cut?”
The tall one snorts. “That’s all you’ve got, Winona?”
I cut in, “You can’t be here. This is private fucking property—”
“What are you gonna do about it?” They all laugh. “Punch us? You wanna hit me, Winona? Come on, right here.” He taps his face aggressively.
Nona seethes, her hands clenched in fists.
I tear her backwards.
Her voice rises. “You’re so lucky my sister is here and has more sense than me.”
“No, you’re lucky, bitch.”
The threat in his voice sends a chill down my spine.
Winona loses her bravado, a sickening look on her face. One that I feel, and no way am I ever letting teenagers assault my sister.
