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But he could tell she was lying, though it gave him little comfort.
‘Then surely that’s all the more reason to lock it away and pretend it didn’t happen, don’t you think?’ No reason for her to know that he had to bite every unpalatable word out. ‘What’s the point in dissecting it further?’
She glared at him and never before had he so fervently wished he could read what was going on behind those deep pools of hazel.
‘No point at all,’ she clipped out at length. ‘You’re right. We just need to get through the next couple of days and then...’
‘Then?’ he prompted, when she appeared to falter.
She squared her shoulders and her black gaze jolted through him, leaving him feeling even more wretched than ever.
‘Then I don’t imagine we’ll cross paths again,’ she managed. ‘You’re infantry, I’m medical. After all, we haven’t until now.’
Something slithered and twisted through him but he refused to acknowledge it. He dipped his head instead, his voice even.
‘I don’t imagine we will.’ And even though it scraped against everything else he wanted to say, he pushed past it.
Neither of them spoke, each lost in their own thoughts.
‘So, that day back at the hospital...’ Mattie broke the silence suddenly. ‘You said you were visiting someone. I assumed it was a patient in the main hospital, but I’m guessing now it was someone in the military wing.’
He hesitated, weighing up what to tell her. What harm could it do?
‘One of my former men,’ Kane confirmed after a moment. ‘He was also a buddy. My OC was hardly going to make the trip, even though it was about ten minutes from barracks, so I thought I would.’
‘Major Percy Copperhead?’ She pulled a face, though he doubted she’d intended to. ‘He’s an idiot.’
At least he wasn’t alone in his distaste for the man.
‘He is,’ Kane concurred. ‘In fourteen years I’ve known a few idiots—there are plenty of good officers, don’t get me wrong, but a couple of bad ones. Copperhead takes the prize, though.’
‘At least it isn’t just me, then.’ Mattie forced an awkward laugh. ‘So you’ve been in the army for fourteen years?’
From the moment he’d walked away from their relationship without even a goodbye.
Kane didn’t need to hear the words aloud to recognise the unspoken question in her tone.
She was piecing it together yet he couldn’t answer her. He wouldn’t. Because that would mean diving into a part of his past he was still desperate to keep locked away. He was still so ashamed that he wanted to pretend that it had never happened. Even with Mattie.
Especially with Mattie.
So, instead, he picked out a document from his folder and turned to the third page.
And he certainly wasn’t about to let her know that it damned near killed him to do so.
‘I assume you read our original brief?’
For a fraction of a moment he thought she blinked, but then it was gone and she was making her way around her desk to locate the files.
‘Outlining the medical scenarios the division wants to test? Yes, originally there were two parts to it, the first one being individual scenarios testing the combat medical guys.’
‘Right. The second exercise is more a front-line exercise, role one support with mass casualties. Setting up a medical search team to follow the infantry in, we had a FIBUA location in mind.’
They both knew that training for fire fights in built up, urban areas, was essential, so he could understand Mattie’s frown.
‘Had?’
‘Depending on how the main operation is progressing, there’s a chance we have to bring forward that scenario, which would mean choosing a new location. From our POV that scenario will be a chance to look at command and control aspects.’
