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‘You’re talking about Carrie, and I can’t begin to understand what you went through when you lost her. But I can tell you that just because a person gives birth to a child it doesn’t make them a parent,’ Logan growled, as anger seared him, white hot and so vivid it was almost blinding.
He didn’t expect the sharpness in Kat’s expression.
‘Yes. And yet, if she came back now and wanted to play a part in Jamie’s life, she could.’
‘I’d like to see her try.’
‘You say that now because you’re angry. But take emotion out of the equation and think. You might fight it initially, and you might hate the very idea, but ultimately, once you were as satisfied as you could be that she wasn’t intending to hurt Jamie again, you would let her into your lives, Logan.’
‘No—’
‘Yes,’ she countered softly. ‘Because that’s the kind of man you are. And because, at the end of it all, no matter what has happened in the past, she is Jamie’s mum, and she always will be. I can never have that, and so I can never give it to whoever I’m with either.’
Logan opened his mouth to argue yet suddenly, abruptly, he stopped.
As much as he hated to admit it, he could concede that Kat had a point. If Sophia came back into Jamie’s life he would move heaven and earth to fight her until he was unequivocally sure that she wouldn’t hurt their son again. But if she was sincere, would he really have any right to block her from Jamie’s life?
Logan felt unexpectedly powerless. It was an alien sensation, and he didn’t much care for it.
He might not entirely agree with everything Kat had said, but now he was forced to concede that there was a kernel of truth in her words.
Kirk and then her experience with Carrie had left her battered. Bruised. Battle-scarred. Pushing her now would only force her to close those wounds over before they’d had time to fully heal.
Telling her he cared about her, that he wanted her in his life—and in Jamie’s life—was one thing. But if he truly cared for her, he should back off and let her have the space she needed so that she could heal in her own time.
It was what a good man should do. And if anyone deserved a good man, it was Kat. Without another word, Logan dipped his head and dropped a lingering kiss on Kat’s cheek before straightening up. And then he simply walked away.
As if it wasn’t the hardest thing he thought he’d ever had to do in his entire life.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHRISTMAS DAY IN Seattle General was nothing like Kat had expected. The hospital practically crackled with energy and cheer, not least because their most celebrated VIP—the man whose life Logan had saved that dull day in late November—was making a textbook recovery.
How was it possible to feel so very different from the way she’d felt barely a month ago, Kat marvelled as she stood on the gallery and eyed the festive tree in the atrium below, telling herself that she wasn’t looking out for Logan?
After their last conversation, she still felt as though a revolving door was spinning in her head. He’d walked away, exactly as she’d asked him to. He’d finally accepted what she’d been trying to tell him. Surely she deserved a sense of victory at the fact that she had been right all along? Instead, she just felt pain—more pain that she’d ever known.
She’d lost Logan, and Jamie, and impossibly it felt even worse than she’d felt when she’d lost Carrie. She felt as if she’d known them her whole life. Or perhaps it was more that she felt as if she’d been waiting her whole life for them...
But Kirk? Logan had said that he was a total jerk, and that she deserved better than that. Which was why she was standing on the gallery, pretending that she wasn’t looking out for Logan.
She had to tell him that he’d been right about that much, at least.
It was odd the way she’d been spinning ever since Logan and Jamie had walked into her life. Like the fun of a fairground ride surprising and startling but ultimately giving a sense of exhilaration. Much as life with Logan and Jamie had done.
Unexpectedly, as if talking about them had actually conjured them up, Kat’s eyes slid to the doors and she watched as Logan and Jamie hurried inside. They were laughing together, looking as though they were sharing a private joke, and her heart swelled at the sight.
Then, suddenly, Logan looked up and right at her, leaving her wondering if he had somehow sensed her there, watching them. His face split into the most open, inviting and frankly sexy smile, and her stomach swooped and vaulted.
It was terrifying how much he—they—meant to her. But when it was over? What then? She could hardly stand to think about it. Stuffing those fears down, Kat pulled her shoulders back and returned his smile. She would deal with that when it happened. Not before.
So, instead, she just let herself smile as he tapped his son on the shoulder and then pointed up to her. She focussed on waving and blowing a kiss as Jamie flailed his arms around at her, sending a score of kisses her way. And she exulted in the sense of belonging—however long that might last.
Then, heads bent together, they took a handful of presents out of the bag they were carrying and set them at the foot of the tree. Surprise flooded through her when Logan stepped forward to usher his son up the winding staircase to her, whilst he remained down by the base of the huge tree. Hurrying forward, she met Jamie as he reached the top of the stairs.
‘What are you doing, coming up here on your own, sweetheart?’
‘You have to come with me.’ He slipped his tiny hand into hers and a sense of bliss filled Kat.
