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He wanted to know more, wanted to sort it out with her. But he forced himself to hang back. He was sure of his feelings but he needed to be sure of hers. It was testing his self-restraint to the limits. He felt as though an elastic band were pulled tight around his chest, holding a plethora of emotions in check until he knew she was ready for them. Ready for him.
He had to know what stage of their relationship—or not—she had reached. Without anything from him colouring it or pushing her along faster than she was prepared to go.
‘Tell me what’s in your head. This isn’t going to work if you believe I said I didn’t want anything more to do with you.’
Her pupils skittered from his left eye to his right eye.
‘I said I was sorry about that,’ she choked out.
‘I know that.’ He took her hands in his, both to soothe and to reassure, not even thinking about who might see them. ‘I’m not asking for an apology. I’m asking you if you can trust me now? Can you talk to me, Fliss? Because until you feel comfortable enough to tell me, I can’t help. Right now, the ball’s in your court.’
‘This isn’t easy, you know.’
‘I do know,’ he vowed. ‘But I can’t just have part of you, Fliss. It would never be enough. I need you. Body, heart and mind.’
She swallowed hard but said nothing. After what seemed like an age she pulled her hands out of his, glancing around nervously. Then, dropping them to her sides, she turned away from him, walking further up the field.
Ash fell into step alongside her, forcing himself to be patient, to give her space, resisting the impulse to simply drag her into his arms and kiss her so thoroughly that she’d realise she couldn’t be without him either.
But whether he won her or not, Ash finally acknowledged that he would rather have known this love with Fliss only to lose her, than the alternative. Never having had Fliss in his life, in his heart, woul
d have been worse than any pain he might suffer now if she walked away from him.
They walked in silence. Going up the field, along the field at the top and back down to the pitches. Just when he thought it was going to all start falling down around him, she stopped as abruptly as she had started.
‘I want to talk to you, Ash.’ She turned to face him, an urgency in her tone. ‘I came here to talk to you. But now that you’re standing here I can’t find the words to explain. Especially with practically the whole battalion and their partners wondering what we’re doing out here.’
Which meant the General would be wondering what the two of them were doing out here. He hadn’t thought that out properly when he’d steered Fliss by the elbow before.
‘Meet me tomorrow,’ he told her as he began jogging backwards, back towards his team.
‘Not later?’ She frowned uncertainly, but Ash couldn’t help that.
‘No. I’ve got something critical I can’t afford to put off.’
And a match trophy he couldn’t afford not to bring home.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
‘COLONEL, GOOD TO see you again.’
‘Captain Wyland.’ Ash greeted the eager young officer warmly.
‘I believe I have you to thank for my appointment as ADC. So thank you, sir. It meant a lot.’
The lad had been a second lieutenant in one of Ash’s units when Ash had marked him out as a potential high-flyer, and a possible aide-de-camp for a general. It was satisfying to see his instincts had been right. Not that he was about to say that to the Captain.
‘You were the one who put the extra effort in, so you don’t need to thank me,’ Ash replied firmly. ‘You worked for this promotion and you deserved it.’
‘Still, thank you, Colonel.’
Ash dipped his head in concession.
‘Anyway, General Delaunay is just finishing up on the phone,’ the Captain apologised. ‘We’re running a little late, I’m afraid.’
‘Right,’ he offered grimly.
Just about refraining from pacing the office, Ash considered his approach. He’d already pulled a considerable number of strings to get an audience with the General without the added complication of time constraints. He knew the man well enough on a professional basis, but turning up without an appointment to ask the General for his niece’s hand in marriage was a completely different thing.
